~it's~all~about ~her~henny~

work freak..!!

2012-03-05T13:43:00.003+08:00

186 journals... (need to give back this wednesday) ECS

186 homework...(need to give back this wednesday) ECS

1 lesson plan...(need to show to mentor tomorrow) ECS

2 administration works...(need to be done before wednesday) ECS & BRW

2 preparation of next exercises...(need to be done by tomorrow) ECS & BRW

2 meetings...(both tomorrow) ECS & EXAM UNIT....

1 minute meeting for sure... EXAM UNIT

all must done within 12 hours..

thank you..~~

~~if i have much money i'll hire 1 assistant just for marking assignments... =((

p/s~~see?? all about ECS...KPT thanks..i love you soo much...ggrrrr....

it's growing and blooming day by day..~~love I5

2012-03-02T21:23:00.008+08:00

i've been through quite a tough and busy days for the last 2 weeks...

and it will still be the same for this coming week..

however...in the middle of the busy life...

walked around i bumped into I5 heroes...

came up with last minute plan we just went out..i left all works behind as for me spending time with them could me run away from being stressful for a little while...ya even a lil bit...

and as usual they never failed in making me laugh crazily...

with the crazy drama under a hut...all the background music...silly dancing hehehe...

seriously funny..!! XD

then the girls brought this up...

"miss bila nak spend time ngn ktorg..asyik budak laki je..jelez la"

hihihi...sorry dear...it was an unplanned thing..

thanks to ayu..she came up with reunion idea...

plan after plan so 1 march 2012 was the day...

once again i left everything behind...spending time with you is even exciting hihihi...

because for sure i knew i would get a sweet memory..! =))

i haven't laugh this loud for quite a long time...really brought out the gila2 side of me..hehehe....

thanks guys...and what make me proud of you is you can still stick as one class even now you are in different classes...take a good care of that relationship dear...cherish every moment while you are still here...(i'll definitely be missing you when you are not around anymore)

okey hopefully next time we can have a reunion outside the campus...it would be more exciting i guess..=))

sent those kids back to hostel..thennn went back home..otw back yaaa my car merajuk...suddenly senyap...i guess it merajuk because it thought that i love those kids more that it hihihi...pujuk2 borak2 almost 30minutes that it went back to normal hihihi...almost 10pm i arrived home...exhausted yet fun...it's worthy..

these moments will be part of my sweet memory while teaching here..~~

time to operate that mickey...=)) well they didnt allow me to bedah the face...

I5 heroins...ya not all came...the guys were too 'shy' to take photo..=p

ok thanks for that "face mask"...this was only the 1st layer...they gave me 4 layers more after that...

what the?? that kedai kek left the word "be"...sorry grammatical mistake on cake huhu..

p/s~~my sayang for you guys is growing and blooming day by day....~~~

2012-02-25T21:09:00.002+08:00

it's hard for me to get angry..

but as a human i've my limit...

as i express my anger...

straight away people judge me saying that i should say that...

because im big enough i should act maturely..

i dont respect the older..and so on...

and what make me sad..

why is it he never take note all my good posts but why suddenly he shot my angry post?

i cant be angry i cant be sad n i cant share it too...

what else do i have other than keep it to myself and let the tears heal the heartache...

seems like that the only choice i have...

you've killed the last piece..nothing left...nothing left...nothing left...='((

fatigue day yet still smiling

2012-02-23T21:00:00.005+08:00

since the 1st day i worked till today...none of the days was tiring me this much...=,=''''

even during fasting month i didnt feel this tired..

all because of ECS...and this is another reason why i dislike ECS...

the text book is from KPT...students cant buy it themselves which i myself need to collect money in the class drive bout 10min to Language Centre and take the book and give to students...

i lost almost 40minutes of the class time for collecting money and taking the books...

ok imagine today i got 3 ECS classes which needed me to go to and fro 3 times...fatigue!!

really comot today...because of i was sweating my eyeliner comot and my student tegur me..

miss mata miss....
why? napa mata saya??
tu...tu...
apa?
comot cikit...miss nak tisu...?
hUhuhu saya dah mcm pa ni penat la syg...anyway thanks...

sian miss...

sy sian jugak kt diri sniri hihihi...

then right after the class i was rushing to UTLC to submit the Pensijilan assignments...

YEYYYYY!!! I'VE SUBMITTED TUGASAN 1-6....

only need to submit tugasan 7 later hehehe...legaaaaaaaaaa....

ok back to ECS...haaa in one class i got 31-33 students...but for each class only 25-29 that have bought the book...which means there are 2-6 students who have not bought yet...

which also means...I NEED TO DO THE SAME THINGS NEXT WEEK..!!! aaaaaaaaaa stressfullll....!!!

i dont understand why cant i keep all the book needed in my office then whoever pay i give la...dont have to go to Language Centre...really wasting time...

or why cant the students themselves go there and buy....why must i become the ceti???

however.....

while being comot...kalot...penat...serabut...

i still got the reasons to smile...

my ex students looked for my class and they found me..they waited for me outside the class just to say hi...then while walking at the corridor with them i saw another class which my other darlings were inside the class....they saw me and they ran towards me....!

how i really miss them....

they even usik me for not wearing 4 inches heels today hihihi...they ejek me pendek!!!
the naughty part never change...that makes me miss them even more...

hehehe they scolded me for not teaching them this semester...

i said jodoh xpanjang ihihihi...but i asked them to arrange 1 time for reunion...something like bbq ke kan...

ya they really made me smile...=)) thanks guys...you'll always be in my heart...love yaaaa

ECS~~

2012-02-21T19:11:00.004+08:00

this afternoon i went for the new subject course briefing...

my comment bout the subject...hmmm

IT'S KILLING INSTEAD OF HELPING....IT'S TORTURING INSTEAD OF DEVELOPING

why did i say so?

because there are a lottttttt of assignments..it's like every week they need to submit something...

thennnn i also need to cover the text book which is like secondary school text book which we use for 1 year period...but this 1 is for 1 semester (14 weeks)...just imagine how many exercises inside there???

and still it's compulsory to give them HOMEWORK...

their assignments are:

4 journal writing...3 presentations...2 paper works...1 vocabulary test...1 documentation..1 pre test and 1 post test...submit 8 online quizzes..

i got 31-33 students in a class...all together 4 classes=almost 160 students...

the group work must be maximum 3 members and minimum 2..

what im trying to say here is how can i finish the presentation part in a day in 1 class which at the same time i still need to touch the text book..1 group will take the shortest 10minutes and the longest may be 15-20 minutes...i need to finish 10-11 groups in 95minutes??

exercise in the text book cant be given as homework as they got separate worksheet for the homework part...

ENGLISH COMMUNICATION SKILL...

where got communication??? all writing reading only...

two times of presentations..are they enough to improve students' speaking skill??

hahaha dont bluff la...and what surprise me is, the syllabus is from KPT itself...

ooo yaaa...in the pre test and post test most of the questions are about grammar...whereas non of the assignments and only a lil part of the text book touch on grammar...then how to improve?

why i hate this subject?

because students do a lotttt of works but the improvement is uncertain, vague...and i'll end up being in frustration.

what make me feel frustrated is english classes should be fun..attractive..interesting and developing...i like the subject which has been replaced by this subject where it had role play, speech..students could express themselves...have fun but at the same time they could practise their language skill..

now they are struggling with assignments..and they'll complete it for the sake of mark...that is...

not for developing their communication skills...

KPT....i really dont understand what is in your mind...and after undergoing 14 weeks i hope the KPT can prove me wrong bout my earlier perception pertaining this subject...

legaaa...!!!

2012-02-21T11:47:00.002+08:00

alhamdulillah i've finished all assignments to be submitted this month...

thanks to yana, nadia n fadhli...=))

then 1 more in march and 2 more in may..

now i can focus to the teaching strategies for observations..

kena bt baik ngn budak2 ni heheh kasi rasuah...=p just kidding...

like last semester, monday's classes are more fun than sunday...

dont know why...

the students are more happening and make me easy to be myself...

sunday's classes are boredd....they are so skema even i ask to make some noise...

ayoooo....is it because of sunday? or the students themselves?

pa2 je la..what i know is i just do my job..=))

okayyy time to study BRW...i almost forgot the content huhuhu...tomorrow need to start chapter 1...ok daaaa...

p/s~~xtau napa hati ni rasa xhappy...ada sesuatu yang buat hati ni glisah...hmmm

lost the rhythm~~

2012-02-19T15:33:00.006+08:00

done for today...

damnnn i lost the rhythm...hilang rentak beb...

what rentak?

rentak to enter the class cheerfully...

i entered and straight away i sat at student's seat...wait till 15 minutes..

i listened to their conversation....

"sapa lecturer weh? tah nama henny haryani...mcm omputeh"

ok that one i felt like laughing...

then 1 student asked me..."amik kos ape" "asal mana"

i replied "kami amik marketing..asal kedah jgk"

hihihi that 1 also tahan gelak...okkk cukup 15 minutes i stood up n went to lecturer's table then suddenly everybody was silent...hihihihi gotchaaa...!!

welll that only happened for the 1st 2 classes..the last class i didnt have the mood..just short briefing then bye2....

i lost the rentak in term of i dont feel the excitement like how i felt last sem....

i want to have that feeling which make me cheerful and enthusiastic...

may be because after semester break..need sometime to get the rentak...

or may be because im too concern about the unfinished assignments...

or may be im worried about being observed later....

or may be i was hoping my ex students were there in front of me who actually not...

the same classes remind me of them..damnnnn how i miss u guys...my I5 n J5....

well the BRW classes also seem so skema...it makes me feel weird to smile...

adoiiii i dont like this feeling...i want the excited feeling back...ok i try to have it back within 1 month....ya i should or else i'll feel forced to enter the class which i dont want...

pity my students if i have that kind of feeling....

hmmmm i really hope this semester will be like last semester or even more...

yenny...trust me..u can do it...=))

p/s~i've finished tugasan 1 assignment pensijilan...lega ckit....and...no chance to cuci mata...xsama slera...=p

my 2nd semester~~the challenging one =p

2012-02-18T17:43:00.010+08:00

funny isnt it?

they are introducing new subject..english communication skill which replaced english for communication 1...the syllabus is from KPT...n the funny thing is we know nothing bout this subject which i need to teach tomorrow...

even the subject coordinator doesnt know when to make the subject briefing...

keja katun btul dorg ni...so what i can do tomorrow is enter the class...sengehhhh ice breaking blahh...30min enough i guess...and i cant inform anything regarding books that are going to be used... assessment and etc...

haiiiii tomorrow is the 1st day...and im still cuak even this is my 2nd semester...

anyway i miss my fav class I5 and J5..hope i can find the excitement like how i taught them...

very supportive..very enthusiastic in joining the class activities....

guys i miss u..hahaha wait ya i go and kaco u guys during exam...=p

ok so tonight i'll try to finish 2 or 3 assignments..prepare for tomorrow class structuring..then get enough sleep...first day is always the tiring day....

p/s~~nk try wat drama la esok...hihihi pretend to be a student

and wait for the lecturer to enter ngeh3...(prasan muda)

hehehe I5 heroes~~

my I5 darlings~~

my sayangs J5~~~

ok can u see that bunga on my head?...hehehe this sem i wanna be miss bunga...=p

finish FASA 1~~

2012-02-14T23:52:00.003+08:00

yeyyyyyy at last 12 torturing days have ended.....

this morning i had to teach in front of the Ketua Jabatan...

gilaaa cuak habaq hanggg...

heheheh i taught bout Future Tense...well i just love grammar veryyy much...(suka ye bukan pakar..salah merata jugak..=p)

what surprised me was she said i've used the simplest way to make students who hate grammar to start getting interested in grammar...weeee i take it as a big compliment..=)

she gave me 91/100 marks....yaa that really motivates me to be more enthusiastic in teaching grammar through the easiest way...and this also give me some encouragement to publish books hehehhe angan2 besar gajahh..!!

right after that i met my mentor..Tuan Hj. Shuib...

"im not easy to give an A..but if you really deserve it i'll be glad to give an A"

that what he told me..he's from faculty of education..so he expects me to write a detail lesson plan like how i did during practicum...luckily lesson plan is not a new thing for me..at least that can lighten the burden apart from 17 assignments kan...=p

ya i can do it bebeh hihihihi....cuma srabut je laaa...pffttt...

slow2....xpenah lagi dengar org mati sebab buat assignments...hihihi so i wont be the first to die because of it..=p

my mentor is going to observe 4times...Penolong Naib Canselor once..and peer once..overall 6times...= 60% another 40 is for teaching portfolio and reflection on the lesson...

ok it's going to be a loonggggg semester for me..huhuhu...

next week the semester will start....CUAKKK..!!!

more pensijilan stuff

2012-02-11T18:41:00.004+08:00

hehehehe...xstart pa lagi dh gelakk...saje muda kan jiwa yg xlama lagi akan naik setahun lg huhuhu....

yaaaa pensijilan got 3 more days to go....yessss cant wait to be freeee...

but still not free from assignments lorrrr....xpe work smart hehehe...tau la nk klentong..

but still afraid for the last day which is mock teaching in front of the Director of Language Centre weeee...ketaq lutut2... =,=''''

for the sake of pensijilan i spent on hot ticket internet..i have to or else i would die inside the hall with eyes wide open hihihih...so if u ask what have i learnt? hahaha better dont ask laaa...

aku klentong ja lebih nnt...=p

but this pensijilan also give me inspiration...2 of the facilitator who are Dr.Fauziah and Dr. Aznida inspire me how to handle a class but at the same time enjoy what im doing which is being playful in the class hehehe...they make me realize being playful is also one of the teaching techniques hihihihi....but of course there must be a limit...

for now im satisfy with what i have...but the challenge is i need to maintain 93% performance score for 3 years in a row in order to get the permanent status...huhuhu mmg mencabar... need to get involve in many side activities...

well im planning to publish a book..a collaboration with my mami...perhaps about grammar n some story books..

then kak aida n kak yati invited me to make a collaboration in publishing pictorial dictionary...spanish german english....hope the project can be started within this year....

ya im not a 'berwawasan tinggi' type of person but i love to do thing that i feel love to do... based on own initiative...if u force me mmg mcm taik la muka....hehehe

just pray everything will run smoothly...

MASTER??? ahahhaahah that's a big question..when m i going to continue my master?

insyallah within this year on early next year...but im still confused whether to take by course or course and dissertation....hmmm let me think deeper...what i really hope is while taking master i can still have time to socialize...can still have time to study n prepare for classes...

yenny use ur time wisely yaaa...hihihih....

ok daaaaa......=))

p/s~saham tngh naik but still dont have the heart to be with anybody hihihi.... prefer to be in relationship with works n students at the moment...=))

practical period..ONCE AGAIN..!!

2012-02-03T21:17:00.003+08:00

12 torturing days...huaaaa....

listening to talks for 12 days...

8.30-4.30pm....what 4.30?? no laaaa they lajak till 5pm..!

this is program pensijilan...one of the requirement to be a permanent staff...

they teach how to teach and bla bla bla...even though i have degree in education...

but with this program i am qualified to teach in any other local universities...

really2 torturing..

then what's next...ya congratulation....7 assignments...all about psychology..philosophies..teaching method..pedagogy andragogy what other gogy2...huhuhu....

then the old fren of mine suddenly appears..who? hahaha of course la miss LESSON PLAN...huaaaaa need to dig back the CREATIVE AND CRITICAL thinking...ya creative la sgt hahahha....need to apply all the bloom taxonomy based activities...=/

5 assignments need to be submitted in february...right after the semester start...what???

it means HEADACHE...!! 1 in the middle 1 at the end...need to prepare TEACHING PORTFOLIO some more...aiyoooooo......need to do revision....find back psychology philosophy micro n macro teaching books....huhuhuhu....relax2...time to refresh the knowledge and apply them in class....

5 observations in a semester...during practical i was only being observed twice...

tu pun mcm nak mati nervous nak mampos....ni 5 times...!!

im sure it will be a loooonnnggggg semester for me huhuhu...

1.be punctual to class

2.be strict no more play2

3.study yenny study hahahaha....

ya Allah please help me in undergoing this challenging semester....

class preparation...lesson plan...assignments...diploma scheme or work...(future coordinator need to handle diploma thingy) =((

then need to teach new subject...have to study first...paper work for ISO unit and workshop...and also paper work for Kelab Pusat Bahasa....pheewwww...huhuhuhu

listing down those works already made my knees tremble....

hmmm....i hope i can still find time to socialize even on facebook hihihihi...

penting okk..!! if not i'll die with my eyes wide open hahaha....

ishhh astaghfirullahalazim.....

anyway i still hope and wish u guys have great days ahead....at least by knowing u guys are happy can make me happy too...=)))

pray for me so that i can get through this challenging semester successfully....go yenny!!!

love you more than i can say~~

2012-01-03T18:44:00.013+08:00

all the rindu all the waiting are really3 worthy...

even it was quite a rushing but still we managed to utilize every second that we have...

love u aj love u zira..may our frenship bcome closer n stronger as how we grow up day by day...

well melaka is really an interesting place to visit...love the food love the view n love the people who accompany me for 3 days 2 nites there..

10.30am departed 7.10pm arrived..phewww...

all the way they texted n called me hihihi cepat la smpaiiii...!!!

thanks so muchhhh...sayang korg ketat2...

and yes we shopped like heaven..dah lama xdpt mood shopping

cwtsys...!!

only these pictures speak what i feel..=)

didnt plan it but the colour almost the same hihihi~~

and yes aj's taste for food cant be denied..the delicious roti john ever...

they called me datin hehehe~~

really in shopping mood..i got 4 pairs of shoes... 1 glasses... 1 perfume... 1 anklet... souvenirs

zira got 4 pairs of shoes too..glasses..

aj got 2 shoes... 1 glasses... 1 2in1 clothes... 2 cute hair clips hehehe...

this is how celebrities hang out hihihi~~~

my ikan masin my bola2 ayam~~

my dim sum my photographer hehehe~~~

and hope this will last forever~~~love u more than i can say...

Gotcha...!!!

2011-12-24T18:17:00.002+08:00

dont just sit down and criticize me...
show me the way..that's how im learning...

it seems easy to stand in front and teach...
try to be in my shoes...how do you feel while teaching u know there's someone or more in the class dont like you but u still need to act professionally...

once u go to working field u'll know how the feeling is..
what goes around comes around...

giving mark is subjective...up to ur consideration..
it's not about bodek2...i'm not that stupid to be bodek...

i gave based on ur performance..u performed so so then i gave u a so so mark...
if u wanna question it then present once again..

i dont mind being kutuk at the back because u dont know how the feel is to struggle at a very young age teaching students who the age are around the same as me...sgt mncabar ok!! u only know to criticize...everybody can do that...

come and stand at my place...u'll know how the pressure looks like....

p/s~~dear tukang report thanks...at last i know who u are...even im not 100% sure...just wish u the best for final...

quick recovery

2011-12-20T12:08:00.002+08:00

heart breaking...

driving...

speeding...

screaming...

crying...

nagging...

"cool blogging"

singing...

phone calling...

treating kfc...

making jokes..

laughing...

texting...

heart to heart confessing...

smiling...

sleeping...

facebooking...

working...

working...

working...

now....70% mentally and emotionally healthy~~~

i am a quick recover..~~now smiling...

thinking...

searching...

for..

COOL BLOG~~

p/s~i am addicted to COOL BLOG....bila batuk nak baik2 ni hentam ais je keje..=)

mohon dengan sangat

2011-12-17T20:27:00.000+08:00

this song really give me a sense of tranquillity and wake me up from being an ignorant muslimah...

2011-12-17T00:25:00.002+08:00

giving up....

nothing to be dreamt anymore...

wishing you all the best...

but the main thing will be remained the same...

nothing will change...

dear road...

2011-12-16T09:12:00.004+08:00

no more road not taken..

there's only one road now..

im going to walk slowly without any rushing...

walk without hurting it without littering it without damaging it...

im going to plant as many flowers as i can along the road side to make it beautiful...

thus, at the end of the road i can feel proud to see what i've done to the road even though may be one day 'someone' else will walk on the road and settle down on it....=)

blissful...!!

2011-12-11T11:03:00.004+08:00

at the road not taken but both roads dont allow me to pass through them..

however even getting to know both roads at the gate only has given me the heaven feeling...

hihihihi tend to sleep late at night...tend to smile and laugh alone...tend to have beautiful dreams...except last night..scary wehh...

i love this feeling and both roads are exciting to be walked through...

so who cares which road i'll be travelling later...ngeh3..~~~

if both roads are not for me then there will be another roads....

or is there any possibility of the third road to appear later?? hahahahah who knows who cares...

just walk la baby....enjoy the scenery...<3<3<3

summary for the month....

2011-12-09T13:29:00.008+08:00

alhamdulillah...

everything is much much more better that what i've expected..=))

anyway busy days are around the corner..4 weeks more that i'll be struggling to finish marking all the papers key in marks and and and and manyak lagi....

when it almost comes to the end the relationship become closer...thanks to beloved students for making the class alive and full of exciting smiles...

thanks for being concern when i semput...and thanks for everything...it's a good start for my teaching career as lecturer...next sem..new people..new classes..new attitude..new style of conducting class..hope for the best..

1. personal life~~

also move towards betterment with lovely people around...

everyday i try to spread smiles on people's face and it's a pleasure a satisfaction to see them laugh smile and happy in undergoing the days...

2. love~~

no comment...vague vision but enough to make me laugh and smile alone by myself whenever i remember few moments...

3. financial~~

i really need an accountant...fail to manage money phewww boros wehhh...=p but the good thing i've started paying back PTPTN hehehe....at least i show some commitment la kn...(bangga sekejap)

4. family~~

my mami is getting better after going to see ustaz...alhamdulillah...well ur black magic cant get through Allah'a power..ALLAHUAKBAR..!!

and i got many new adiks too...i give extra care to people who care for me...

5. friends~~

kak aida kak yati kak mas become new important people in my life...so i got many people who love me as how i love them damn much...teah aj

zira cheq sal husna kak yati kak aida kak mas...thanks Allah for giving me chance to know this wonderful people..=) fb frens also seem to be cheerful lately hehehe...

6. work~~

3 weeks more before final examination...everything is under control...still within the time frame in syllabus..however i still find there's not enough time to cover grammar part..ya i love teaching grammar...=) cant wait for BRW presentation...it's my turn to sakat them...they always sakat me ek...tunggu hehehe...

the bad part is i can see some of the staffs here are playing dirty politics in getting good position..who said the higher ur education the smarter u'll become? high education and good deed are 2 different things...only iman will lead u to be a person with moral or not..

7. conflict~~

the same thing...the same useless "thing"...ya enjoy ur "show" non of my business anymore...what i've learnt is i wont dump all the lovely people for the sake of something or someone...ok xleh cakap lebih2...enough...but the happiest part is..u've become someone who is NOT IMPORTANT AT ALL in my life after u pushed me like a stray dog...n for that thank you..

im happy for realizing that u dont deserved to be part of my life..=))

8. december~~

heheheh bonus time..!! i can see new shoes and outfits hihihi...but the most important thing...keta bapak ku..hehehe kasi upgrade ckit...keta sniri??? lain tahun ye...hehehe

happy birthday happy belated birtday and happy birthday in advance to abe...kak aida...alex pang..husna and my sayang teah..!! hihihi...

wish for only happiness next year...

kak aida n kak yati~~my new sisters hihhi..=p

wish to be this riang forever hehehe..=))

player being played

2011-12-01T19:57:00.003+08:00

hehehe glad because i am blessed with that talent..

what talent?? i dont mean any art things...

talent to ignore people when i feel they can spoil my mood and when they are not important...

i'm good in playing with facial expression...ngeh3..~~

because of that talent i can control the situation today hehehe..suka gila kalo tngok balik mmg nk tgelak...and suddenly an unplanned thing happened which assisted the actual plan...

seru banget deh hihihi....

and for that i feel soooo puas..because the player who created the game actually being played without any intention but it really3 helps...mwahahahaha...

yes im learning =)))

2011-11-29T19:25:00.004+08:00

it's like im never left to be alone...

another people come when the others go..hehehe

im glad for that..

well this time..maturity control the situation hahaha i likeee....

ya la like aslan always says.."think never happen the same way twice"

so why should we repeat the same mistake right...just enjoy what we have now la kan and at the same time take the past as a lesson...yenny now you are a grown up lady...hihihihih

the sweetness will come soon...weee~~~

p/s: it seems easy to read me but actually im unpredictable...u never know how i can change in just a blink...=)

pheewwww..~~

2011-11-23T21:30:00.005+08:00

emotionally..getting better weee~~~ hehehehe...

it's like Allah never forget me by sending few special people...(im the one who always forget Allah huhuhuh terasa malu)

physically not too ok..it was raining heavily...

feeling eager to play in the rain but hehehhe paham2 la...still need to be waras...

got wet each time i went to class...same as the other students..pity them..

wet then stayed in the class with aircond phewww....memang mengundang penyakit....

fever is knocking the door..hello may i come in...

sorry it's not that im being rude but i need you for nothing...plz go back..

hehehhe...

this week and next week are the role play week...

luckily i could sit down relax and enjoy the show...but as usual only a few of them performed well...adooiiiiii napa la nk malu2 cover cun cover macho..haiiii xpaham2...

ok enough time to sleep...need a rest after going through a tiring and wet day...pheewwww.....

at last...clear..!!!

2011-11-21T22:17:00.002+08:00

wooooo i dont have to wait for 6 weeks to wait for the result of yesterday's experiment...

in just not more than 24 hours...i've got the result..

the result which makes all the things that i've been thinking for quite a time become crystal clear...

the result which makes me free from confusion...

the result wakes me up from a beautiful fairy tale dream...

with this result i can make a move without any doubt...(suddenly i miss mdm jasmina)

thanks for giving me the answer indirectly but i can understand it...

ok inner conflict has come to an end....glad that Allah has given me the signal in the early stage before i go any deeper into the hole....(^_^)

mood~~mixture of gladness and a lil lil lil lil lil bit of sadness....a lil only...give me 3 days i'll be back to normal hehehhe...

U turn or go straight...

2011-11-20T20:24:00.003+08:00

i spoke to fast...

just in one day i can see the thing that i was talking about before this...

i think i need to make a move...

once i've walked away i wont turn back..dont let me go if you think i deserve to stay...

if you think i dont... then i'll choose other path...

i'll keep on silent for a moment to see whether the thing that i am thinking is true or not...

experiment time....duration..within 6 weeks....starting tomorrow....go!

heart conflict at early 20s

2011-11-20T13:05:00.001+08:00

i wonder...am i doing the stupid thing once again??? i think ya but sometime i think i dont...

should i move on or should i stay?..

if i move on will i lost something?

if i stay will i get something?

if only u can give the answer instead of playing around...

but it's not even ur fault after all...

i misjudged n fell into the hole which is almost like the previous one...how could i fall down?

i'm sure i've been aware enough before this...

it's quite tiring to hold something that's ''hanging'' here...

sometimes i wonder where has the old yenny has been?

the cold hearted yenny? why am i so fragile like this??

(conflict early 20s)

lemau

2011-11-16T12:21:00.003+08:00

what a lemau week i'm having right now....

wish that friday comes early than usual...

i need to recharge after what had happened..accident..student's mom passed away...argued with papi.. colleagues bad mouth about me for not joining them for lunch...helloo...tu pn jdi bahan ke bia la aku nak jd lone ranger pn...kecoh je....ish3...

still in lemau..moody..shocked mood..

all classes seem to be the most undesirable places to spend time with... hahahha

office seems very2 cooling..comfortable...nice to have a 5min nap hihihihi...

battery=30% where's the charger???

my "boyfriend" terluka

2011-11-13T15:14:00.004+08:00

kesian 'boyfriend' saya kena langgar huhuhuhu....

kalo dia boleh besuara mesti dia dh menjerit.....

walaupun my 'boyfriend' dah tua tp dia kuat...tp cebeh jugak la huhuhuhu sian kat you...

xpa later we go to 'spa' to get some treatment....

~new starting point...life is getting much better~

2011-11-12T12:07:00.009+08:00

wooowww end of 2011 is almost around the corner...
i guess this is the most challenging year in my whole life so far...next year xtau la kan...

too many things happen just in a year..

got a job with a terrible boss...went for few interviews...sacrificed money and time...

few conflicts..got new job in hometown...conflicts again...personal problem..health problem...family problem..financial problem tooo many problems...ya la if we think back mana penah idup xda msalah...so just go with it...alhamdulillah i managed to handle those problems well...

end of sept-early nov was the toughest time ever...

really challenged my capacity as lecturer and human....

conflicts which affected my personal life...i never thought i could be this fragile...

cancelled classes because of i couldnt stop crying...i got the ultraman's eyes hehehe...

of course i couldnt bring personal matter inside the class...

pikir2 blik lawak plk blh smpai mcm tu....

slowly things are getting better...i managed to go through those obstacles...

congatulation yenny...! hehehe

now i believe when Allah took something back from us it means He would replace it with something better...

i got colleagues who i could call them sisters..kak aida..kak yati..kak mas..thanks for all the guidance...<3<3<3

i got awesome students who always make the learning session lively which make me forget about my sadness for a while...thanks guys...

someone special has entered my life...nothing much about this person..

enough to say we are making ourselves comfortable with the situation...

mr B.S...you teach me how to smile instead of crying...smile in the middle of hardship..thanks

and suddenly few friends in FB become close to me..they concern about me...that's a gift form Allah...now i realize im not alone..i got many people who care for me online and offline...thanks so much guys...i really appreciate it...

i guess this is the hikmah beside what has happened lately...

i hope there will be no more conflict after this...keeping in touch with friends is not a waste...

im so glad i did it..."a little effort through posting on their walls...texting to say hi n how r u..."

enough for me to keep in touch with the old and the new one...

life is getting much better now...no more tears only bright smiles...alhamdulillah~~(^_^)

daughter vs son

2011-11-06T16:36:00.003+08:00

it's not easy to be a daughter when the eldest is a son...

it's a norm where a mother usually loves the 1st son more than the rest....no matter if the eldest does any wrong doing...he's easily and immediately forgiven...

i dont know about other family...but it happens in mine...

how about you??? i hope and pray you dont have to face the situation that im facing at the moment....

~seasonal friendship~ i hope you'll be reading this

2011-11-04T22:53:00.003+08:00

at first i think i can ignore you...well actually i cant...

because there's a sense of disappointment frustration and a lil bit of anger...

this is not the 1st time in our friendship...

before this i had the feeling...but i ignored it because i really love you as my best friend...

i was influenced by my emotion...sad..extremely sad when you ignore me...

but then because of love i try to mend things back...even though i'm the one who supposed to be coaxed....

but still no response from your side..no effort from your side..you prefer being silent...

then suddenly the old feeling that i've ignored came across my mind..

"seasonal friendship"

every time you have someone new or close or special in your current situation, you'll keep silent with me...you used to say it's your anti social mode..

but when those people left shit in your life you'll find me and say i'm the only friend that you have...because i love you i dont mind being treated like that..

what i know is i'm very happy to see you happy..

and i'm very angry too see you being treated like rubbish...

but i dont know if you take me for granted...you repeat the same thing again and again...

now you are in the anti social mode...you put your pic with 'some1' who before this you considered not too close to you as i am...you've put me aside...

it's ok if that is your choice...

now i know that you have been practising "seasonal friendship"...you come and go whenever you feel like to without considering what is happening to this person who is me...am i ok? am i not? do i have anything to share? do i need someone at the moment?

i hate to say this but i can see the selfish side or yours...

i won't be affected this much if you dont promise anything...the thing is you always promise the beautiful things in our friendship but you cant keep them...that what makes me disappointed...

i wont touch on this anymore...what needs to be said has been said...

what i want to advise you is...treat people the way you want to be treated...

people wont be there for you if you cant be there for them...

life is about give and take...yes we wont get as much as what we've given but just believe in karma..what you did you get back..what goes around comes around..

dont remember that you have friends every time you are in the hardship only...

people wont feel hesitate to do the same to you in future...

appreciate what you have before you lost it...

now your best friend is her...you know who i meant...ya the person in your pic...so treat her nicely...dont treat her the same way you've treated me....i know exactly how the feeling is....

lastly....farewell...

p/s~i dont know you'll be reading this or not but i really hope you'll be reading this....

i hate this feeling but at the same time i cant keep it any longer...farewell and good luck with your best friend...

spider web~~~~

2011-10-15T11:48:00.004+08:00

too many spider web here...

dont have the mood to update anything

because toooooo many things happened to me for the last 2 3 weeks...

toooooo much tears....toooo much disappointment.....

toooooo many things till i dont know i should start from which point...

it's ok...even if i wrote here it wouldnt be interesting anymore...coz i've no friend now..

i mean 'friends' that usually read my blog to know my update...

my update is no more a pleasant thing to them i guess...

n i dont want n i wont make their lives miserable with my update soooo let the cute little spider stay in my blog and build beautiful spider web...

p/s: any updates just ask me directly...daaaaa

2011-09-06T22:33:00.002+08:00

hope my dad can face it...

i know you are strong to fight against it...

may be you are not the best dad in the whole world..

but for me you've done your best to be the best dad for us...

if this has been destined by Allah..then we accept it sincerely..

we know there is goodness behind all these thing...

thing happens for reason which is for us to be near to Allah...

students the old days vs nowadays....

2011-08-20T14:23:00.006+08:00

feel like blogging after observing few students attitudes nowadays...

my entry this time focus on secondary school students...

my experience teaching in school even only for 3 months really gave me a precious experience in terms of improvising teaching method, handling students attitudes and also their personal problem which relate to their study..

what i can say here is these kids are really different from our time in secondary school..

ok now im talking in terms of social and respect towards teachers...

during our time..1994-2005..(for those who are at the same age with me) teacher is like someone that we really afraid of and respect...not dare to talk nonsense in front of teacher...telling friends about boyfriend girlfriend in front of teacher..talk loudly and use all the mencarut words... it's like if we saw teacher 50 meters from us we tend to use other way so that we dont have to bump into him/her...what the teacher asked to do it must be completed no matter what...the teaching and learning process were really like a real class...

if we left books or even a paper it's like the world would end in any minute...

most of the students talk properly and politely with the teachers and still use acceptable ways while talking to the friends...

but the situation nowadays...hmmm

there was a time where a girl mencarut in front of me and got my nerves spontaneously.. i straight away yelled at the girl and ceramah ckit...the she hated me..lantak la...

then a group of girls helping the teachers in the staff room but they didnt feel anything talking bout their personal things loudly till there was a teacher asked them to stop and respect the teachers..then they hated her...as expected...ok books..they didnt feel afraid for not bringing books...

"ala cikgu berat la...buku ilang...relax la ckgu nnt balik umah sy buat la"

then if i asked them to hand in homework i would only get 10/36...bnyak kn..and the rest didnt feel any guilty for not handing in books...

during my time teachers gave instruction only and all would be fulfilled..

but now...teacher need to console the students to do their works...

see how different the situations are?

dont you dare to scold the students or they will yelled at you back or end up running away from school..ya this happened in front of my eyes...

with the fever of social network like facebook..students simply post anything scolding cursing the teachers without thinking of the consequences..where is the bless in gaining knowledge...

then when you want to sit for big exam only then you come and apologize...sometimes it's not working dear if Allah doesnt bless you...

regarding communication among students..here are the example...

"weh cibai aku tunggu ko dri td kan..ko sial lmbat"

"aku dh cakap dowh tp minah tu barai dh penah main"

"kimak sial pehal ko buat mcm tu dowh"

"ckgu dh tua jeles student lg lawa"

so 'pleasant' to be heard right...i know you guys are still young and immature... you guys dont think that the way you talk now will be followed by your own sons and daughters...so next time dont ever complaint if your children are rude and dont know how to respect you...

"ala zaman cikgu lain zaman ktorg lain"

if you stick to what the religion has guided there is no such thing as zaman bergerak ilang budi bahasa...you are big enough to think what is good and bad...but you guys are soooo into trend and style... cool haaaa....i dont think your parents teach you that kind of manner to talk... so who are you following?

that's all i wanna say...but there are still students who are good and know how to respect parents teachers and friends...who seek for blessing from them and the god...to these types of students i wish you good luck and may you can develop the society to become intelligent and well mannered... to those who still dont feel any guilty after reading this entry you need to do something about your life and you want to be...the end...

p/s~~ i wrote based on what i experienced, saw and read...take the good one as guideline and the bad one as lesson...a teacher dont mind if the students are not intelligent but what important is well mannered..=)

summary for the week....

2011-08-11T21:54:00.010+08:00

just feel like blogging but actually i've nothing strong to share...=)

what's going on now...

let's start with the wide scope first...Malaysia..

the hot issues are the approval of being Malaysia citizen to the permanent residents and the incursion by JAIS towards a church in Damansara...

comment~~

1. giving away IC to them is just the same like selling the country...they can ask anything and get the same rights as us Malaysian..so after this the Government cant complain at all if there is any issue raise as the consequences from their action...:)

2. actually it's not a rush like they spread...it's in the act that non muslim cant spread their religion to muslim...(if i'm not mistaken) and JAIS actually came and negotiated with the church authorities first..they went inside after the event finished...the muslim were asked to come for consultation..that's all...(jgn la kamu murtad sesungguhnya azab Allah tidak akan tertanggung oleh mu kelak)

now we narrow down...Ramadhan

now it has been the 11th day of fasting..so fast..hehehe...so we've 18 days to go..let's upgrade the good deeds...make this Ramadhan as a starting point to 'clean' our soul and may Allah bless us with His forgiveness and mercifulness...so where are you going to celebrate Aidil Fitri?

most probably i'll be celebrating in Medan, Indonesia..it has been quite a long time i didnt celebrate it with them...just cant wait for the excitement...:)

narrow a little bit down...Yenny

working~suddenly i am in the Quality team which i'm one of the assistants in handling all the documents required by the ISO and MQA...it's my responsibilities as the new staff...

"new broom sweeps well"...well i need to get myself ready for the hectic semester after raya..fuhhh really hope i can handle them and at the same time upgrade my level in english...teaching and learning at the same time...

friendship~ my besties have been very busy for the last 2 3 weeks...i only could text them during weekends huhuhu...so many pending stories...Zue Zira Aj Teah i miss u...i know all of you are doing well...hihihi i just nak mengada2 ngn you all...dh lama xmanja2...:p

fianance~ currently im not financially stable..well actually im broke hihihi...i spent my last saving for the fuel to work huhuhu...cant wait for my first salary and of course BONUS RAYA...hehehehe so many things to buy...:)

love~ hmm it's not working lately...it's not the time yet even there's something happened within a week but it's too early to share here...may be later i'll update in another entry...confusion..certainty..excitement..anxiety...awareness...these words represent the hint for the love part..however it's too early...i'm not hoping at all this time...just go with the flow

future plan~ car... house+interior design...saving...family...;)

ok that's all the summary for the whole week...xmenarik?...mmg la mana da aku pasang tali nak tarik2...

p/s~bukan gila followers..=p happy reading...

yenny ni demand la...

2011-08-06T00:30:00.006+08:00

i'll try to make it short this time...short la sgt kan..:p

this time it's about a boring topic for me but may be an exciting topic for those who sgt kemaruk nak kawin...

being 23 and still single sometime might raise issue to people who kemaruk nk kawin...

but not me..my journey is still far and there is so many things to be discovered while being single..my target to get married is between 27 28..so i got 4 to 5 years more..

"ko ni dok single lagi demand sgt la tu"

ok that's the situation..the irritating part is when you sit among those people who 24 hours talk about marriage love marriage love marriage love...and that's not the problem either...

the perceptions are also different from one another and that's also not the problem here...

the actual problem is when you are being matched to with those who you dont like because of some reasons..(career.. vision..look)...

it's my right if i reject the calon2...but it made these people called me a demanding woman...

ok what's is the meaning of demand?...strongly asking something..that's the actual meaning..

am i asking for something strongly??? no..i just state my stand which i want someone who is financially stable and can guide me dunia akhirat...that's all...the look will be a bonus...i'm not looking for prince charming..enough with a sweet and a calm look...

i know the word 'demand' come when i mentioned about 'financially stable'

hellooo..it's a man's responsibility to fulfill all the necessity of the family...

kalo memanjang dok cinta2 tp hasil xdak boleh ke bela anak org...

"kita senang susah sama2"

ya i agree with that but how can you take care of someone if half of your salary has been spent on cigarette...when i asked them how much is your saving monthly?...they answered almost 0 and it's a success if they can save 50 monthly..the issue here is not the salary but how do you manage your finance...

no woman want to get married to live in hardship right?

thus because of the possibilities that i might get someone who earn 'ngam2' salary, or i wont get anybody at all so i need to make a back up plan which is search for my own properties..car house and saving...

and for that i dont have to be gelojohhhhh to get married...

dont think for today but think for 20 years ahead...that's what my mami always says..

ok please stop pushing matching me and arguing with me about searching a soulmate...i can manage and i know what kind of life that i wanna live...just dont act smart and lecture me with all your falsampah...for me if u can get a permanent good job, can save 1/4 or your salary then you can talk about love and getting married...before you get all those things just be silent and go dating with your buah hati..dont interrupt my life...simple...

it's not that im talking shit but i rather be single than getting someone who only know to talk about love but cant cater what i need..i'm talking about keperluan 1st..not kemahuan..

if my keperluan also you cant cater how about kemahuan..jgn harap la kan..

advice for you guys...love is only the first stage in getting into a relationship but then once you are in the relationship it's all about responsibilities...you cant buy house car periuk belanga sofa meja katil peti ais dapur lauk2 with love only..you cant give the best education to your children only with love..you cant pay the hospital bills with love..kenyang ke bukak tudung saji xde lauk just ada pekataan I LOVE YOU FOREVER..(burrppppp!!! kenyang)

money cant buy everything BUT everything needs money..

including a happy family and a happy life..we are no longer in zaman GURINDAM JIWA..we dont plant the paddy we dont fish and we dont bela lembu ayam kambing..we HAVE TO BUY them..WITH MONEY..

you can call me orthodox materialistic but i believe i'm a realistic and this is the best and im sure almost all women will agree with me..(kecuali yang kemaruk nak kawin and takut jadi andartu)

"jaga2 laki2 makin kurang skang ni nnt melepas"

so what? do you want me to just simply accept whoever likes me even he is useless??

marriage is more than that.. it's not about sex it's not about getting anak as many as you want isnt it?

i'm not that desperate...love comes and go but i've faith in Allah that He knows better what's good for me...He has made someone for me and even there's no one for me i still has faith that He has destined something better for my future...

so if you guys wanna be gelojohhhh just go ahead but dont drag me into your silly discussion...

i can entertain you guys but dont get over my nerves..ok? understood?

p/s~tidak berniat menyinggung mana2 pihak just voicing how i feel each time you call me a demanding woman....peace..

Bollywood fever....

2011-08-03T20:48:00.007+08:00

Lately I’ve been hypnotized by Bollywood …out of nowhere suddenly it hits me straight to the brain which make me ‘xbetul’ for a week…smiling alone while driving, while being alone... from my house to work it takes about 45-50minutes but with this fever I drive while singing Bollywood songs and I don’t realize that I’m already at the office…sewel betul…

I’ve been watching Hindi movies since I was 4 5 years old I guess..

But for me the climax was from 1995-2005 where I missed almost none of the movies..

But I never admire any of those actors..at that time it was the age of Shah Rukh Khan, Amir Khan, Salman Khan, Akshay Kumar, Anil Kapoor, Hrithik Roshan, Saif Ali Khan,Karisma Kapoor and her sister Kareena Kapoor, Kajol,Rani Mukherjee,Madhuri Dixit, Asywariya Rai,Preity Zinta,Mahima Chowdry,Juhi Chawla, Manisha Koirala,and many more new comers….like Jimmy Shergil and bla bla bla..(amoihhh cuba list nama2 imam tokoh2 islam terkenal...huhuh malunya)

Let’s talk about favourite actor and actress..well in term of acting I like Shah Rukh..he can play any role..

in term of dancing and action I like Hrithik Roshan..in term of beauty I like Preity Zinta and Kajol...natural beauty

in a nutshell they are all talented in acting and dancing..no wonder because dancing has been part of their tradition..but when it come to singing part..allllllllll lip sing….

sian penyanyi asal terpekik terlolong tp xtau pun suara sapa…hahahah...

all I know are Anu Malik and Lata Mangeshkar only…

Why people so into this Bollywood thing?.. I’ve read a National Geography article about this industry.. it’s not easy to get into the industry where you should graduate from any acting and dancing college..and they also practice cronyism..bapak pelakon anak cucu blh jadi pelakon…but Shah Rukh’s story was really a motivation to those who are easy to give up…he was rejected at the first audition because he didn’t know how to dance..but then he went back and practiced dancing for 700 times and he went to the next audition and he was accepted..and now look where he is now..one of the back bone of the industry…

Hindi story line is always about love, family, society,religion,politics and action..but the most common is love and family where one must be rich and the other must be poor and they fall in love but the family doesn’t bless them..they run away together..the rich hire gangsters to catch and give some lesson to the hero..fight2..blood2 here and there and everywhere..1 guy fight with 20 gangsters but in the name of love and spirit given by the heroine the guy can beat them all DUSH! DUSH! DUSH! (sound effect)…then the rich realize the love is pure then bless the couple..then sing2 roll2 on the field..change clothes 10 20 times…the view will be somewhere in Europe..beautiful scenery..still can where sari and roll2 on the snow…gila xsejuk dah nama bcinta kan...hahahahahha

The issue raised here where Hindi movies don’t portray the real life in India…if you want to watch the fact how India is look like, you can watch Tamil movies..they serve the fact on how the citizens are exactly look like in that country..

It is so illogical but why this kind of movie still getsa place in the audience heart? The audience knew about the trick and the story line is predictable..butwe are mesmerized by the looks of the actors and actresses..dancing..romantic scene..the clothes..scenery and the most important thing is how the hero show his love to the heroine..by singing and sacrificing...most of Hindi movies lovers are girls so no wonder we get caught into this fantasy where we hope there is a guy for us who can treat us like that…but if there is any try la nyanyi depan girlfriend guling2 kat dataran Shah Alam…comfirm girlfriend lari malu siot kottttt orang pandang…

Bollywood is only beautiful and mesmerizing in the fantasy but not in the reality..try me..serious ke korg nak pakwe korg layan korg mcm Shah Rukh layan Kajol?betul ke korg nak pakwe korg nyanyi kat korg dengan suara ermmm ermmm pham2 la...hahahah mesti korg pun geli…silap2 kena tangkap Jabatan Agama Islam sebab bkelakuan sumbang mambang dan menggangu ketenteraman awam hihihihi….

However with the new comers new directors and all the new people who were influenced so much by the western, the story line also is affected including the art of dancing…Hindi songs nowadays are suck and the movies are no longer can be watched with the whole family where the heroine’s outfits are sexy as well as the dance…you can’t let your school children watch that kind of movies…I don’t enjoy the excitement of watching it after 2005…dah sedap2 tengok ngn mami papi tiba2 datang part tarian yg mcm ulat bulu nkbuang bulu…segan kot…last2 angkat bontot masuk bilik…hihihihi….

Whatever it is salute to the 1980s 1990s and till mid 2000s for the films and beautiful songs which still can be enjoyed till today…ok pa2 punkorg jgn jadi mcm aku dengar 1 lagu trus termasuk dalam movie..nk senyum sorg2 make sure korg cover line mcm aku…J

take it as an entertainment only and it's not something to be searched and followed in reality ya...

ok happy reading everyone…J

the best collaboration ever i guess...

preity zinta is always pretty..:)

2011-07-29T01:29:00.003+08:00

at last i fell down..slowly but it's quite hurt..

even before this i knew this can be the possibility of the game that i'm playing..

i've become soft hearted too fast..

i miscalculated n i should be blamed n nobody else..

melt with how guy treats me even just by using words..

no wonder..pen is mightier than the sword..

in this case keyboard is mightier than then pen n the sword...

i've become so stupid..that's what i regret..

i miscalculated..misjudged and misunderstood..n i should be blamed for this n nobody else..:(

new world

2011-07-23T21:32:00.004+08:00

i havent been blogging for quite a time..

hmmm things happened but didnt know how to tell..

ya i guess my frens also would fee bored listening to UUM story heheh..

dah lapor diri..

my dad's fren helped me a lot in administration part..

so many things to be settled..

i didnt feel that stress but what make me serabut is this place is soooo big..

the distance from 1 building to another is like old MSU to Giant..(jalan kaki bekuah ketiak)

so i need to bring my own car..ya mom's car actually..

to and fro is about 104km..heheheh 1st time aku drive sniri kejang kaki dok tekan minyak ngn cluth ja..hai mcm mn nk drive g shah alam ni...hihihihih

ok my no pekerja is 4248..(beli no ekor msti kena ni ahahaha)..

ok just imagine there are 4248 staffs in that place..and i need to know them as many as possible especially those in pusat bahasa...

tmpt thumb print kt main office n staff room kt building lain plk..hai 1 keje dh main pusing2..

ok luckily i've got several new frens..guru bahasa jugak..Thai, Spanish and German..

they are very friendly so it's easy for me to ask anything..my class will start this september..

so for now is preparation time...i think i need a month in getting know the system and main staffs here..ok after this no more play around..i need to compete with them..

they seem so ambitious in finishing their study to the highest level..

aku ni rasa kecikkkkk sgt3 sbb ada dgree je..huhuh tnggu la lgi 2 thun aku amik master plak...

insyallah..

ok finish with career..now personal...

nothing much happened lately..

my heart still main cakk cakk..kejap ingt kejap x..kejap rindu kejap x..

hmm tah la..layan je la smpai tahap mna blh layan kan..x susah pn...

in UUM i dont have any intention at all in searching for soulmate..

tah aku tngok suma tua2 je hahaha...but what i'm afraid of is bnyk kt sini yg ANDARTU..

waaaa just dont get me infected dah la..hahahah

2011-07-13T22:29:00.003+08:00

emotionally unstable now...
i think im okay but my action shows contradiction there..

is it this hard..?
i just started to involve in that "thing"..really3 just started..but it affects me quite a lot..
hmm not a lot la..but still affect la..

but from previous experience..i only took a short period to recover...
yup..because i've taught myself to be cold hearted so the healing process only takes a short period..

yup yenny come on recover2..try to forget..move on bebeh move on..

ok i'll enter new stage this wednesday so really hope i can be fully recovered..=)
mr.s sorry if i hurt you... it's not that im not serious but im afraid of being hurt waiting for something uncertain..=(
so i need to move on same as what you are doing now..sorry once again...

view after BERSIH 2.0

2011-07-12T01:54:00.006+08:00

watching some videos in the youtube about BERSIH...
BRAVO to those who against BERSIH....for being such a COWARD
what makes me sad is most of them are MALAYS who are too comfortable fanning the goverment...(harap2 dapat projek la PM kasi)

nahhhh now you see what kind of country that we have...
i knew how police behaved since long long time ago..
my grandfather was a police..Sargent...you know before he died what did he say?

"aku haram kan anak cucu aku masuk polis!!" "polis xubah mcm anjing..aku tau sebab aku polis dan utk itu aku sangat malu aku polis"

why could a policeman say such a phrase?
because the real police is the one that you see in the video...
TV? Newspaper? of course you wouldn't watch all those anjing attitude in these two channels..
but the citizens are not stupid...the one is who stupid is...:

"aku dah ckp BERSIH ni menyusahkan..kan polis xbagi tu xpayah la buat..kena diri sniri tanggungla"

ok just imagine if your hands, feet, eyes, mouth are tied..how can you voice out your rights?
then you can hear that your loved one is being abused..(rogol ke rompak ke ape ke)
how will you react?...of course you will strike..at that time you will just think of getting justice and saving your loved one..dont care if you will be beaten, stabbed, shot or bombed..then suddenly you are injured..then there' s someone say.."sniri buat tanggungla..xlawan td kan selamat..ktorg nk abused sedara ko je bukan ko" hahahahaha at that moment what exactly will you feel?

"Malaysia ni dah aman..xpayah la buat demonstrasi..duduk umah diam2 dah la..kan aman"

these people are soooo afraid of changes...COWARD..why?..they are so afraid of losing their belongings..no sense of fighting back even the government are dancing over their heads..(org macam ni kera---jaan cukup suka sbb boleh jadi kuda)
buat la pa2 asal jgn ada rusuhan..biar aman je..(xkisah barang naik ke, minyak 5rnggit seliter ke, gaji pokok xnaik2 ke)
everything is fine asal kan no demonstration..they dont think what will they face in the next 10 years with the same OLD LAME KREPOT CORRUPT government..xpe2 asal xda rusuhan...these people are willing to sell the country to other country rather than pick up guns and fight back...

"polis buat keje dorg je..dah org awam serang dorg serang la balik"

this was the visual that all the MEDIA PRIMA channels served us..but the reality?..ask them who join the rally..how actually the police acted? why my friend's father bone and teeth broke? and he died (may ALLAH bless his soul... amin)...all supporters didnt bring any weapon..but why the police could beat them with baton, shoot with tear gas and water jet...(di kampung2 bnyak yg xda bekalan air tpi polis ni boleh bazir2 air mcm pesta kt Thailand)
why didnt they give the stadium?..simple isnt it? why?...because the government didnt want the memorandum to be handed in to Agung..too afraid if fair ELECTION is carried out for sure they will lose.. ( masa tu menteri2 pakai singlet n kain pelikat lari malam..takut BPR tangkap)

"BERSIH menyalahi undang2 dan hukum agama"

is it?...ok may be my knowledge about religion is too shallow...lets recall about PERJANJIAN HUDAIBIYAH...the muslim were willing to negotiate..then they signed agreement with the musyrikin..then the musyrikin broke the agreement..the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w was mad and the muslim needed to strike for justice..if im not mistaken our Prophet led more than 30 40 something (betulkan kalo saya salah) wars against the musyrikin in spreading the religion and justice..if only He failed to negotiate..but now the BERSIH supporters wanted to negotiate but the government refused sooo badly...so is it menyalahi hukum agama if they strike? or is it just because the leader is a non muslim? come on..wake up..all the ustaz in TV who gave views about BERSIH were fanning the government..

"AMBIGA punya hal org mlayu kena tngkap"

AMBIGA punya hal org melayu kena tngkap..at least she was dare enough to fight for rights to voice out on behalf the public..MELAYU punya hal all the melayu suffer from the raising of cost of living..hahaha what do you want to say about that..if PM's wife can buy a ring which cost her 24million USD..why cant he use the money for the public..of course he can IF HE WANTED TO..but the problem is PENUH KAN POKET SENDIRI BIAR RAKYAT KURUS MCM LIDI...you need to pay all kind of taxes just to make their stomach rounder and rounder and rounder...

the PM really proud of how the police handled the demonstration..this obviously showed that he got no HUMANITY..so sad for that..
the PM proud when there were public injured, broke their legs, and even die...shame on you
(just wondering how the police and the government rulers can sleep tight at night after making the citizen suffer so much?)

this is not the rally of opposition parties..this is the voice of the public who are sick and disgusted with the government rules..but what can we say..there are more people especially malays who still dont see and realize the cruelty..shame on you

to all BERSIH supporters im really proud of you who joined it..that one we only see in KL..but there are millions more supporters in other states..and for that the government should know their time to rule is almost come to the end...lets vote for our right during ELECTION DAY..

the end of something that never starts

2011-07-11T00:41:00.002+08:00

may be this is the best..
~
~
~
no regret..
~
~
~
hope all the best to you in finding your soulmate...
~
~
~
and all the best to me too hehehehe...
~
~
~
tpu la xrasa pa2 kan..but im ok hehehe...
~
~
~
life must go on...ingt jgn guna lgi teori 'prigi timba timba prigi' k???
ingt2 balik mmg nk tgelak..malu pn ada...
ok daaaa....

BERSIH ....

2011-07-09T13:26:00.007+08:00

hanging out with friends last night and we came out with this hot topic...
BERSIH...honestly i dont know too detail about this but i feel like sharing my opinion bout this...

i've been observing this situation for quite a period where obviously Malaysia is not a democracy country anymore where those who lead the government play dirty politics...

i didnt say this based on any party's views..this is my own view...
why i said dirty....ELECTION....for the past years in every election there would be unfair matter for examples the voters...it should be according to the IC...but why suddenly during the day itself they found out their names are in somewhere else? so they couldn't vote...who is responsible..? SPR...

the papers they use for voting...some said couldn't mark..it's like the paper has been candled..
who's responsible..? SPR...

how come 1 people can vote for 2 3 times?...how come dead people still has the name in the voting list?...and why SPR doesnt want to use the special ink which voters need to thumb print like the one they use in other country..the ink can stay till 2..3 days...

so no cheating where 1 people vote 2 3 times...simple right if they really want a fair election..
but why does SPR reject it? the reasons that they gave is it is against the constitution...
then what is the real and fair constitution?....is it dirty like the one that we have now?

recently they are giving out IC to 30 ooo++ foreign workers...so they can vote..who is selling the country? JABATAN PENDAFTARAN how do you do your job?...my mother got her citizenship after 28 years..so many procedures needed to go through...but what happen to this foreign workers? with IC they can ask for job in government, make a bank loan marry with our people and many more..
so what can you say about this?

and nowadays...the government has been led by 2 people..the prime minister himself and also his wife...why does people who want to deal with the PM need to deal with his wife first?
why did they go for their daughter convocation with the reason of going for some government visit?..why use the government name? of course all the expenses was on the government bills..

and this is from the resource that i can believe...why his wife could spend millions for shopping?..the question is...there are so many citizens who are poor why doesnt she donate the money..? and if we start talking about her it wont finish till tomorrow..too many misappropriation....

and like any other country...there are tv channels for the opposition to voice out their view.. in Malaysia?..not even 1..newspaper also the same...and when the oppositions want to publish their own newspaper why the government tried their best to banned it..is this democracy?
at last they need to give permission but still not daily..only once in week or in 2 weeks...

are the government too afraid if the public know the truth?...if the government is BERSIH then there is nothing to be afraid of isnt it?

we have petroleum which means we are a rich country..but why the poor are poorer..the rich are richer?..why the government didnt allow the PETRONAS account to be audited?..what happen to the profit?..where has it gone?..electricity, fuel, groceries, are all elevated...the citizens need to bare the burden...and if we are rich why do we still need to owe the world bank? these are the questions that the government never answer to the public....

some of my friends didnt agree with BERSIH as they said it can be done in more proper way then assembling...ok you tell me what are the 'other' ways if all ways are blocked by the government..police, army, law, media, all government departments, SPR are now the puppets of the government..so can it be done in any other way?

and some of them said this is a religion issue where AMBIGA leads the assembly...i didnt see any religion issue in voicing out the justice...this is only provocation...

"BERSIH ni menyusah kan..nak kuar jalan2 pun xbleh...tngok yang lead org bukan islam tp yg masuk jail kena tngkap org islam"

this is the view of people who dont understand the real situation...if a country is not led properly then it is the citizens' responsibilities in mending it back..how?...demonstration...ok how long have you been jalan2?..why cant you give only a day to those who want to voice out the right as you are too busy with your shopping stuff?

"nanti mati2 macam negara lain"

this is the problem where our people are too afraid to make changes to fight for their right.. see Indonesia..Thailand..Egypt..Syria..Lebnon..Lybia...how their citizens strike for justice?...it's our right to take care of the sovereignty of our country...

kalo ingat2 balik cara kita dapat kemerdekaan kita mintak kt England...

may be we are to comfortable with asking..once we need to strive for something we feel soooo afraid...so the government use this as their weapon to tie our noses...students are tied with PTPTN..SCHOLARSHIP..the public are tied with subsidy..and we are threaten with ISA...

"aku xamik tau pasal politik..xsuka politik"

then you are left behind..you dont even know who is the best to lead you..you are like in the tunnel without light...Islam and Politic cant be separated..our Prophet also involve in politics in order to maintain the peaceful among muslim and non muslim and how to spread the religion without neglecting all the needs from muslim and non muslim..this is the real politic...so think twice before you say you dont wanna know about politics..choosing the right leader will be asked after you die...

in Islam it is said choose a leader who can lead the country wisely..and make Al Quran and Hadith as the guideline..the truth Islamic leader wont practice corruption, suppress the people, practice kronism, and many more...it is soooo different like the one that we have now which they practice all those dirty things...so do you people still want to relate BERSIH with the religion issue?...at least there is one non muslim who dare to BERSIH kan this country from keep on being DIRTY...

how about the people who are arrested?....this is what we call as struggle...it is worthy for the country later...their strive will be appreciated...no struggle no justice...

this is my view without being influenced by any other sides...the right to voice out is limited now...lebih2 kang blog ni ngn aku2 kene block ngn KERA---JAAN...:) xpasal jdi Raja Petra...

GO BERSIH KAN THE DIRTY GOVERNMENT..IT'S TIME FOR NEW PEOPLE TO LEAD THE COUNTRY....

when HUMAN become DEVIL

2011-07-08T13:25:00.005+08:00

just i watched a video in fb...
a cute little puppy was being abused..
i couldn't find it in youtube...

watching the video really make my tears rolling down heavily..
i imagine the puppy is my cat...
this people who are so called HUMAN BEING poured gasoline on the puppy and THEY BURNT IT ALIVE!!!

the puppy has white fur and while being burnt it turned to black which really stabbed my heart again and again and again...only tears can express what i felt while watching..
the puppy was really in pain barking non stop until no more voice come out..it has died...='(

astaghfirullahalazim.......

i can only watch it in video and feel helpless i cant do anything...just watch that Allah's creature being burnt alive...how cruel a human can be..as cruel as devil may be even more...

what has the puppy done till you abused it like that...what if i pour gasoline on u and i burn u alive???? can you bare the pain???!!! can u???!!!!

in Islam we cant touch dog but still we can do good deeds to it...
if it is hungry give food to it..if it is thirsty give it water..as simple as that...
never in Islam it is said BUNUH LA SEKSA LA ANJING DAN BABI..!!!!
NEVER...!!!!

i dont know the devil in the video are MUSLIMS or not...if he is..then wait in akhirat..the puppy will give you back what have you given...

while typing i still couldnt stop crying...why why why must they behave like humanity has died in this world...just ask you why.....='(

AISHITERU ( Menunggu )-by ZIVILIA BAND

2011-07-06T19:14:00.002+08:00

my friend Husna asked me to listen to this song....and i kindda fall in love with it..as the lyrics are really suit with my mood and what i feel now...

Menunggu sesuatu yang sangat menyebalkan bagiku
saat ku harus bersabar dan trus bersabar
menantikan kehadiran dirimu
entah sampai kapan aku harus menunggu
sesuatu yang sangat sulit tuk kujalani
hidup dalam kesendirian sepi tanpamu
kadang kuberpikir cari penggantimu
saat kau jauh disana
ooo…

Gelisah sesaat saja tiada kabarmu kucuriga
entah penantianku takkan sia-sia
dan berikan satu jawaban pasti
entah sampai kapan aku harus bertahan
saat kau jauh disana rasa cemburu
merasuk kedalam pikiranku melayang
tak tentu arah tentang dirimu
apakah sama yang kau rasakan

chorus:
walau raga kita terpisah jauh
namun hati kita selalu dekat
bila kau rindu pejamkan matamu
dan rasakan a a a aku
kekuatan cinta kita takkan pernah rapuh
terhapus ruang dan waktu
percayakan kesetiaan ini
akan tulus a a ai aishiteru

hapus sendiri pikiran melayang terbang
perasaan resah gelisah
jalani kenyataan hidup tanpa gairah

ku mohon kau kembali...

p/s: the lyrics do not 100% express my feeling but still kena sikit..i would like to dedicate this song to that 'someone'...:)

~first time xray ever~

2011-07-06T14:25:00.004+08:00

today i went for a medical check up at clinic where i worked before..somewhere in 2008...
klinik darulaman...heheh so i got special price la kan...
first measured weight and height...5* kg and 15*cm...(secret weh malu la)

then went upstairs for xray...during working there i never entered the xray room..so this was my first time... "kepak tngan..tngok atas...lmpu tu mnyala tarik nafas"
pipupipupipu (sound efek padahal xda pn) ok the red light was on..breathe in..!!! OK DONE!!
ok after soaking the film then the nurse show me the result...

can u see the whole there?? at the bottom left side...

"kak nab napa ada lobang tu?????"

aku dah cuak...

"mana???...
"tu laaaa kn bawah tu....."
"la napa ni ada lobang plak?? jom2 kta tunjuk kt dokter"

only Allah knew what was in my head at that time...

"doctor what is the big hole?"
"OMG....yenny you must do mamogram (bukan utk breast cancer ke?)

mata aku dah klip pop klip pop tahan tangki dari pecah...

"this is not too serious..worse come to worse bedah sikit je...(mata aku dah berair)

then suddenly he laughed....(wht???)

"saya mlawak jela..yg dok serious sangat napa?"

"aaaaaaaa dokter jahattttttttt...sya ingt dh nak kena masuk wad bedah suma huhuhuhuhu"

"hahahaha....saya tahan gelak ja tngok muka dh nak nangis"

"mau xnangis takut la dokter!!"

"ni dah ada boypren ka?"

"blum"

"hmm patut la ada lubang..tu tmpat kosong utk isi boypren la tuh" (memandai je)

straight away i laughed...

"ni kawasan ati perut suma..lubang ni sebab angin...makan xlagi?"

"blum"...(muka sebek)

"haaa xda pa la tu..suma sihat..saya ngusik ja...xpa lain kali sakit dtg lg"

this is the funniest doctor i've ever met...sebelum ni xda plak nak bt lawak...

moral of the story is...if u see something that u dont understand regarding this medical field then dont obviously show it....ada bahan doktor nak pekena nnt...

ok done with medical check up..so move to the next stage...everything within 2 weeks hhhaaaiiiihhhhhh.......(still rasa terpaksa)

p/s: oooo pekena aku ek...tnggu la aku buat lobang besar kat klinik ko..curik suma duit heheheheheh

~an ordinary girl's dream~

2011-07-05T20:03:00.007+08:00

i just wanna share 1 fb post from a friend of mine...
i read it straight away i felt waaaaaaaa....(mulut nganga-kagum jap)
she expressed exactly like what i imagine in my mind and heart since i was in secondary school... BRAVOO kak mas...! hehehehe

as i've witnessed a lot of couples tend to commit sins as they cant control themselves...i'm so afraid and i imagine if i were them i might do the same things...(aku pun senang kena goda dek setan..nama pun manusia)

so i try my very best not to involve in that relationship...
lagipun memang xda orang ajak couple seriously...so i'm very grateful to Allah for taking care of me in terms of having love relationship..

it doesn't mean i dont want to be loved..of course i want..manusia d cipta berpasangan...but i'll try my very best to protect myself from being exposed to commit sins...InsyaAllah....

until now i still remember my F5 mathematics teacher, Cikgu Jamilah said..

"kalo awak rasa awak boleh tahan sakit besi panas tajam di cucuk tembus kepala awak..it's ok kalo awak nak pegang tangan boyfriend awak..."

dulu skolah perempuan so cikgu2 banyak bgi nasihat...10 minutes before the class ended she would give tazkirah..i really respect her..muka dia pnuh sifat keibuan...miss you Cikgu Jamilah..

alang2 dah cakap psal ni nak cakap jugak la dream wedding hehehe..gatai nooohhhh....

as i live in a quite unfriendly neighbourhood...i dont even dream to have my wedding feast here....(dorg ahli mesyuarat tingkap yg slalu ngumpat2 mak aku just because my mami is an Indonesian)

dosa ka kalo my mami Indonesian and dpat pahala ka dorg for being Malaysians?
totally ridiculous..!!!

so i dream of a very simple wedding...i want to have it in an orphanage not too far from my house..
aku bagi mkn anak yatim lgi dapat pahala dri bgi makan makcik2 kepoh tu...last2 ngumpat aku balik kan...only for 200-300 guests including the orphans...

doa anak2 yatim ni d makbul kan Allah so I hope my marriage would be long lasting till my last breath..=) amin....this is for my side...for the man's feast it's up to him nak buat mcm mn pun...
hantaran..i really feel grateful and thanks to Allah because i have such a wonderful parents...

mami doesnt want duit..it's up to the man's side to give how much they afford to give...she only wants verses in Al-Quran as mas kawin...pelamin gah as singgahsana i dont want also...waste money and might expose me to be riak...mntak simpang huhuhu...bersanding biasa2 sudeyyyyy....someone told me..just dont get confused with tuntutan and adat..both are different and i believe this is the best for my marriage...
aku xpandai sangat bab2 agama ni but if im not mistaken our prophet Muhammad s.a.w said..

"perkahwinan yg plg berkat ialah yg plg murah mas kawin nya"

ok i dont want to be famous..contoh:

"ish baju dia lawa naaa mahai lip lap lip lap..tempah kt butik nuu"
"ish hantaran dia mahai laki dia kaya nooo 33333.33..."
"ni lauk sedap naaa..8 jenis..ayam daging besar2 tau"

ok enough makcik..i dont want this kind of people to come to my feast..bukan nak doa kan aku...
feast is only for a day...no need to bazir2...the life after the feast is what important....
nak beli dapur gas..peti ais..meja mkn, sofa, set bilik, tah pa lgi mak nenek la...tu sumaaa duitt tuuuuu...sian laki aku duit abis kt knduri last2 dok atas lantai hiihihihih.....

the purpose of having a feast is to announce that the couple has been married..nak jauhkan fitanh...tu je...xyah la hebat2 sgt kan...dont let yourself being influenced my the celebrities...dorg xpe la duit bnyk... (cerai xnak plak buat knduri besar2 ek)

ok hope my dream wedding will come true...heheheh

p/s: bila dah besar2 ni tngok kawan2 nk kawin dia mula la pasang angan2 hihihihihi

i wish to have baju pengantin like this lebih kurang..tmbah2 ckit la kn...simple but nice

p/s: korg usha kt https://www.facebook.com/flowgoshop..lawa gila baju2 dia..=)

woman, me and cooking..

2011-07-02T14:43:00.006+08:00

usual entry is about life..friendship..career..frustration..bla bla bla...
today's entry lain ckit..it's about me and cooking..=)

for woman cooking is a responsibility but for man it's a passion..that's why all world famous cooks are men...however that's not the issue in this entry..

i admit im lazy whenever my mami is around..
bukan ape..she's the best cook in this whole world...u name it she can cook it.. from eastern to western..i really admire her skills in cooking and doing woman's stuff..menjahit..mnyulam..mengait..mengemas..membebel..(ehhh???...sorry2 gurau2 mami)

unfortunately i dont get the entire skills..i know how to mnjahit mnyulam but only a lil bit.. :(

i know how to cook but not as delicious as mami cooks..cukup kenyang kan perut la org kata...
but i'm willing to learn..cuma lately ni slalu mkn luar la sbb tnggal my papi mami n me..
all the lori sampah..(my big n lil brother) are not around..
mami kta msak lgi bnyk modal..so makan luar la..

aku malas masak tpi bukan xreti masak..xcaya tnya budak2 umah aku hihihih...
the diligence come if i stay alone...bukan ape kalo ada mak ni dia bgantung je kt mak...

ok as my mami is not at home so it's my experiment time heheheh...
try smpai meletup dapur...ok starting tomorrow i'll become suri rumah tangga..(tnggal carik husband) so i have plenty of times to try and error heheh..

first i'll start with the dishes that i'm familiar with..(menu2 masa kt umah sewa)

ok menu to be listed:

black pepper beef,
chicken soup,
chicken @ beef with oyster sauce..
mixed vege..
ikan sambal..
tempe ikan bilis kacang sambal..
my favourite PEGEDIL..but here people call it as BEGEDIL..
chocolate cake..
mixed fruit cake..
currypuff..
dadih..

and menu to be experimented..

ayam ungkep (resepi zira)..asam pedas hold dulu hihihi
ikan 4rasa..(3 rasa + 1 xda prasaan)..
rendang
kuah lontong
kari2..(i really dont know how to cook dish with coconut milk)
haru oooo kalo mak mertua suh msak kari2...

who says it's easy to become a housewife?..24/7/365/seumur idup are the working hour time haaaaa...
so suami2 jangan derhaka kt isteri....hahahaha...

this is one of the ways to show my love to my family...for me it's a satisfaction to see them eat while being silent..(sama ada sedap or nak jaga hati) hahahha lawak plak rasa..

how about you? how do show your love?

so called retirement...

2011-07-02T13:32:00.007+08:00

tahniah anda telah berjaya berkhidmat untuk kampeniii(eja mcm bangang) ini selama...

21 march- 2 julai 2011...selama hmm 3bulan 11 hari...

more than 3 months la kira kn hihihihi....

ok today is my last day here..
even though i dont like this place but i still carry out my responsibilities till the very end..

i handled the class until the end..(kalo jahat dh tnggal sekerat jalan)
i prepared everything for presents and farewell party.. (kalo jahat aku kasi 50sen suh dorg mam coklat je)
i updated all documents in the systems..(kalo jahat biar je)
i gave last suggestions on how to upgrade this kampeniyy(skali lgi eja mcm bangang)
though i hate giving suggestions as i know he wont accept..tpi xpa la kira jasa2 terakhir...cewahh

with my last salary 800+++...tah brapa sen yg plus ek...i need to spend it wisely.. (spend??? bukan save ke???...)

at least i got something from this kampeni (ko blh eja betel2 x)

this is my platform in teaching field..i've experience in conducting primary, secondary and also tertiary students...well it's not easy.. i realize my weakness is in primary level...still need to learn how to make the teaching n learning process more fun, effective and interesting...

so where am i going after this..?
first week after retirement..i need to clean all the house area...(nanti mami balik hepi la umah bersih mcm dia ada)
then spend time watching tv..(dh 3 bulan kot aku xtngok tv)
and also need to send application to any organizations...kna cri keja la kalo xmna nk datang duit..
nak tnggu org minang gamak nya kebulur la...

ya life is about making choices..grabbing chances..life is challenging..interesting..

(ahhh persetan kn suma itu)...

what i know is i need to find a job..bukan pa..maintenance diri la kan hihihi....

ok la nanti sambung lgi heheh..(bnti keje tp hepi plk)...daaaaaa...=)

if tomorrow never comes

2011-06-29T22:51:00.003+08:00

the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would he ever doubt the way I feel
About him in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will he know how much I loved him
Did I try in every way to show him every day
That he's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And he must face this world without me
Is the love I gave him in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much he means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell him how I feel

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

(p/s-some of the lyrics really make me touched...)

indescribable feeling

2011-06-28T21:36:00.003+08:00

too many things to be said..
but i couldn't express them...
happy at first..sad..frustrated..relieve..now more calm...

but i still feel something deep inside me asking for something that i dont have the answer..
what is this??? indescribable...

it seems blurr..i'll wait for 'it'..
until i get a signal that 'it is' not for me..
i play with risk..it might harm me badly but this time i'll take the risk
i just hope if this is not the correct choice please just give me an early signal...(-_-)

in trend..up to date or out dated...???

2011-06-26T22:38:00.004+08:00

i wrote this entry based on instant observation...

girls...women...
yes of course we cant resist ourselves from being fashionable..

(ok aku xreti nak buat ayat pusing2 so straight to the point la ek)

woman and fashion cant be separated..
love window shopping..wear new design of clothing..shoes..and accessories...
the same goes to me...i like fashion but i'm not a fashion maniac..
mana yang sopan yang kena ngn poket aku pakai la...

ok the question here is...
until when are you going to follow this thing..
i mean kalo sampai setiap koleksi korg nak beli..setiap designer korg nak follow..sampai bila..

ok if we talk about it sampai mati pun xabis nak berfesyen,..(naseb kain kapan mmg putih kalo boleh pilih2 kaler xke haru???)

ok i dont have problem with people who like to be fashionable...
but i do have problem with people that look down other people who dont follow the trend..!!

"weh org xpkai la kasut mcm ni..org xpkai la baju ni...pesal ko dh out dated sgt ni"

ok pantang aku dengar..coz people who out dated in fashion tu xkaco sikit pun duit poket ko..
she/he wears what she/he affords to buy...isn't it?...so what's your problem...

aku lagi bangga kalo dpt beli baju 15hengget tp lawa dri bazir2 50 hengget tp xcukup kain..
depan singkat blakang ketat atas sendat...
dah macam guni beras begerak aku tngok...

what's the purpose of wearing clothes? of course to cover the vital parts...
but if you reveal those parts just for the sake of being up to date in fashion what for???
tepuk dada tnya selera..

same with the shawls fashion nowadays...
ok cute fancy feminine but ask yourself back..what's the purpose of wearing it...
to cover your hair, neck and chest..

tapi kalo dh slendang sekangkang kera tarik depan blakang congek tarik blakang depan terjojol pa fungsi nya lg dah??? nak plak ada fesyen bonggol unta..aku xpaham..

so automatically the designers have invested saham dosa di akhirat kelak...wallahualam...

my darling said..your wear it u need to know the reason of wearing it, u need to understand the reason of wearing it and u need to be grateful for choosing to wear it...
dont be a fashion victim just because u really want to be up to date...

same with cars n electronic devices,..hp..ipad..iphone..sgala mak nenek i i i la aku pun xtau dah..
ok if every single new product you want to purchase just for the sake of being up to date..when will it end??
some of them willing to owe money from friends..buat keja2 xpatut..skandal sana cni sbb nk ada org support from head to toe..memang xde kesudahan...fashion punya psal dosa yg dapat...

org tua2 pesan..UKUQ BAJU DI BADAN SNIRI BUKAN DI BATANG NYOQQ (coconut tree)

ok aku xmalu nak ngaku aku mmg out dated in fashion...
aku xmalu nak ngaku aku pkai hp baling dinding pn ok lg...
aku xmalu nak ngaku aku xkenal pun designers yang famous...
aku xmalu nak ngaku aku xtau pun nama2 fashion slendang, dress, kasut n whatsoever...

aku lgi malu nak ngaku aku xbegitu tau nama2 tokoh2 penting dalam islam..
aku lgi malu nak ngaku aku xbegitu baik dalam mengaji...
aku lagi malu nak ngaku aku terlalu bnyak kekurangan dalam soal ibadah..
and aku lagi malu nak ngaku aku terlalu jauh nak jadi muslimah sejati...

(akhirnya aku mengaku)

i wrote this just as a reminder to me myself and also to those who read this entry..
the end.....

(p/s: i'm still learning towards the perfection in the 'real fashion'...trlalu bnyk kekurangan..kalo nmpak tu tegur2 la...)

lawa..tp kalo xda bonggol lagi comel..=)

~life is full with unexpected surprise~

2011-06-25T17:19:00.006+08:00

well..just a short entry this time..
last week was a hectic week..this week is a 'looonnngggg' week...
now i just need to finished what i've started..

Short course class for secondary school and also primary school which will end on 1st and 2nd July

ok Tahir's last day will be on this Thursday which means on Friday and Saturday i need to manage all things on my own..
teaching..answering calls..preparing farewell party for students..perggghhhh!!!
and i don't have leave for the whole week..(dengar kta israk mikraj pn keje)...GILAAAA..!!!

so what a longgggg week...this sunday-thursday there will be a new group of SPM leavers and IPT students which i need to handle them..so tomorrow from sunday-saturday mngajarrrrrrrrr je keje aku...thennnnn....i can't wait for 3rd July....MERDEKAAAAA!!!!

(merdeka la sangat dah xkeje xde la duit doollllll)

so next mission in searching for job..again..yahhhhh nak kata pe lg xkan nk dok umah tunggu org masuk minang..jangan harap la kan gamak nya sampai ke tua org tak masuk minang...hihihihih

ok finish with career part..now family part...

mami has arrived safely at Medan..hope she'll enjoy her time there..(dh lma sangat xbalik)
in other words which means.."TAHNIAH YENNY ANDA DI PILIH SEBAGAI PEMANGKU JAWATAN MAMI ANDA SEHINGGA DI BERITAHU TARIKH TAMAT PERKHIDMATAN"

hihihihih...actually there's nothing much..just make sure the house is clean and tidy..prepare food for papi and een annnddddd take care of my new anak...PUREN JR..
hehehe mami's vacation also means...EXPERIMENT TIME for me...
ni la masa nya nak try benda2 yang aku xpenah masak...hihihihihi..(jangan risau dapur xmeletup punya)

ok next...my personal life...

i dont know what has happened to me lately...
i tend to smile...alone...fb is like a must for me...
sleep while smiling..(adik aku la tegur aku mna tau muka aku mcm mn msa tdo kan hihihih)
and the worst thing i wore shawl terbalik..!!!
malu gila students tegur...

"teacher pkai tudung terbalik hihihihihi teacher kalot (rushing) pgi td?.."
"eh mna da...yg ni pkai depan blakang luar dalam pun boleh"..(fuhhh terbaik la cover line)
when you become a teacher automatically you'll become a cheater hihihihih....

ya i like what i feel right now..but i don't want to hope too much or i'll be disappointed..
like people always say..just go with the flow...and i hope the flow won't let me drown in it...
ya i love to become the 'love consultant' for my darlingsss...but when it happen to me.. i become the stupidest person on this thing... hihihihihi....
what do you expect from me..i've no experience at all...

what i have is lesson which i took from my darlingsss cases which make me more aware and careful in giving my heart away...well i'm not that worried as i'm not too crazy about it...
ya once again just go with the flow...=)...
i just hope my intuition won't lie to me..

the end..=)

the 2nd step before i can get it..

2011-06-22T17:14:00.009+08:00

papi said..."siap2 esok pukul 8 kawan papi amik"
the next day...i waited from..7.30...8...9.30....11..!!!!
waaaaa btul2 jam mlayu ni...

11 a.m i went out from home..salam cium mami papi..
then the journey started..i couldn't sleep even i was sooo sleepy..
segan la with kawan ayah..ahhh forgot to mention..in the pajero there were 4 men..
lg la aku segan...tegur tnya sikit..anak pakcik bt ape skang..bla bla bla..then no topic to be talked..
segan tahap teruk bila control mkn kopok ikan xnak bg bunyi hahahaha teruk btul anak dara spa ni...(ehhh org jaga nama papi mami tau xnk bg bunyi hahahahaha)

i kept silent..then went to bus station at PD to fetch zira..
we checked in at 7pm..when we were together there was nothing to be worried..
chat..laughed as there's no interview tomorrow heheheh...
we went for dinner at the nearby restaurant..puuihhhh lnsung xsedap..ckup utk kenyang je....

prepared slides for the mock teaching then sleep at 1.30am...

DAY 2...

went to kolej at 7.00 am and we reached there at 8.30am..
blh tahan jauh..but what i like was the scenery..it's so calming..beautiful and neat village houses which is hard to find in alor setar...

all together there were 60 candidates for the interview for various subject..for english there were only 5 candidates..but the vacancy is only 3..well it's ok just try my luck...

i was the first candidate for the mock teaching session...ketaq wehh but still can handle..

before mock teaching....senyum tu penting

"i like the way u teach but only 1 comment...you have such a soft dolly2 voice..u need to project more"

ayooo!!! the same comment and the same term as Dr. Norhisham used hahahaha...
i don't know how to project louder..kang cm jerit plk lari students hahahaha...hmmm or do i need a mic n speaker??? hehehehe over laaaa plak...

1st session zira n i finished at 10..they said the second session would be started at 11am..

then..tunggu pnya tunggu pnya tunggu bulan xtimbul2..eh...merepek...
tunggu pnya tunggu at 4pm only then we were called...5 hours waiting wehhhh...kebas muntut2...sempat tertido lg....

ngantok gila2...battery 30% left....

"briefly tell us about yourself, your achievement, involvement in extra co-curricular activities..."
bla bla bla bla..ok la...

"beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder...please comment about this statement..."
my answer...

"at a glance of course beauty is shown through the look..face and the physical..
but once we know the person closer..the beauty is shown by the heart..
how the person behaves..how the attitudes are...the inner portrays the beauty to the look..
usually when we see a woman or man we will say ooo she's beautiful he's handsome..
but when we know him/her well we can judge whether the person has the real beauty or not...
beauty is subjective"

(i hope people out there please dont judge me from the way i look..i know people always say that i'm arrogant.. snobbish..fierce by the first impression which is wrong huhuhuh)

i really respect other candidates..their english and experience really make them different in giving answer..i was mesmerized by their answers which i never know the answers before...for me they deserve the work...:) it's not that i'm giving up..it's about qualification..well there are so many things need to be learnt...well at least i gained one precious experience which is going to the real interview with the real effort...:)

the rest is up to what has been destined for me..

then my father's friend sent us to Seremban bus station at 5pm..boarded the bus at 8.30pm..
lepak at McD Terminal 1 alone because zira needed to go first...luckily zue sms me heheheh xde la bosan sgt...

i reached home at 7 am this morning and the journey ended...:)

thanks for reading entry yg tah ape2 ni....;P

me and zira before 'it' started..blh senyum la lg...nostalgia x gmbo ni???

muke takut hehehe..(mcm than sakit perut je)

memories that managed to be captured..:))

road to be taken...probably..

2011-06-17T23:09:00.003+08:00

hi there..ok let's not waste anymore time crapping nonsense hehehhe..
yesterday..early in the morning i got a morning call from Kolej RISDA Melaka..

(betul kan suara..kang seksi plak org kta morning voice ni seksi hehehehe)

ohok3...ehem3..

~hello is this ms henny haryani?
yes speaking...
~i'm from kolej risda..u r chosen to attend an interview this 21st June before 9am..
please bring the original and photocopied certificates ..together with 2 passport sized picture..
ok you need to do a mock teaching..the title will be The Art of Public Speaking...
please prepare slides..is there anything else you want to ask me?
~errr nothing..thank you 4 calling...bye..(speechless)

10minutes after that...my darling sms me...
KETAQ..!!!! (scared)

heheheheh yeeeeyyyyyy zira got the interview call too...
i'm so happy..and i really want to do the best this time...
this time it's not about work..it's not about salary..it's about enjoying job beside my loved one who is NOR FAZIRA ISMAIL...it's about toghetherness... <3

ya i know it's too early to say that..but that's my wish...i really hope both of us can get through..
semangat punya pasal..i googled about the title and i've finished preparing the slides...now i need to practice...jangan la tnya yg pelik..pasal pokok getah ke...rancangan tanam smula ke hehehehe....yela kan RISDA...

ok zira let's do our best...

the plan is..i'll go to PD first...meet zira there..sleep for a night at a hotel in PD..ikut driver RISDA hehehe free la transport..suke aku....
early in the morning go to kolej risda..after intrview straight away go back to alor setar...
huhuhu quite disappointed cant spend more time with her...
i need to send my mami to airport on 23rd...mami nak g medan tnggal yenny sorg2 huhuhuh....

it's ok...i'll follow you later hehehe..cant wait to practice my indonesian skill..hehehe dh keras agaknya....

hmm i can only imagine all the good thing now..but i dont want to hope to much..
everything has been destined...ORANG BILANG KALAU ADA REJEKI NYA YA ADA DEHH
GAK USAH TERLALU DI PIKIRIN KOQ...hahaha kan dh tkua loghat...

p/s: pray for me guys..if the job is not for me then i hope there will be something else..Allah knows better what's the best for me..

am i a coward??

2011-06-13T14:32:00.009+08:00

where is it?
where is our next destination?

spm leavers?...matriculation..diploma..foundation...in college or university..work
stpm leavers?...dgree...work
ipt leavers?...master...work..
work leavers??? hahahaha ada ke work leavers???
mestila ada...i'm 1 of the example...but not yet la...

ok that's only the intro..let's go to the body...(shake ur body shake it shake it heheheh-out of topic)

actually yesterday i had a little comment2 session with my bestie...

and i was wondering after commenting...where m i going after this?...i now prefer not to travel to other states to work..kalo becuti xpe hehehehe....

i want to stay here..with my family..even in Kedah also i dont want to go to other districts...
hahahahah teruk gila minah sorg ni...dok bwh ketiak makkkk hahahah...
if u ever think that i'm a.......yes correct...

im afraid to make a new start alone..unless i have one of my darlings together with me...
as a human im afraid to take the first step..but that doesn't mean that i dont have any ambition to get high salary..better position..

i feel weird..y i didnt feel any afraid when i needed to further study in shah alam? why?
it's because i was willing and i wanted to go there...TESL is what i want...

but now the situation is different..i'm not that eager to work..but it's a must!
i need to work to support myself..(kalo kawin ngn jutawan tu lain cite la kn)

so when i'm forced..i feel reluctant to go far as i'm sooo not well independent yet..
all this long everything is done by the help from others...
i'm not ready to do it by myself yet...and it's not that i'm contented with what i have now..

"gi dulu..xpegi mcm mn nak tau boleh tahan ke x"
"kalo xbrani amik langkah mcm mn nak maju"
"xmau ke hidup senang"

ok those are told to me by everybody including my family...
but i believe rezeki is everywhere..i'll give the fullest effort in whatever i do..

my interest is in teaching..but now i dont think i'm that deep in love with teaching...
with my situation now i feel a lil bit down...need to recharge hehehe...

now what i want to do is...working at home...but something that can give me profit..
ya checking thesis assignments or whatever...as long as i can get money and at the same time i can still use my knowledge...

i'm planning to rerun the tuition beside my house with my mami next year...ya i prefer to work like that then the one that needs me to go to office stay from 9-6..move out to other place..gaji xnaik2...perghh..!!

i really cant stand that for long...
ya now you know another attitude of mine....i dont like following rules!!nak keje minima tp bayaran tinggi hahahaha teruk gla aku rasa...mcm looser pn ada...huhuhu...no la..i have my own way to survive...and i also believe in my instinct...i'm trying to work smart as i dont like to work hard hahahahha( korg boleh tampar aku kalo nak)

i hope i'm doing the right thing...

if the path that i'm about to choose is wrong..then it's called a risk...
life is about taking risk....

p/s: plz drop ur comment after reading...i really want to know ur opinion...tq

2011-06-10T22:58:00.002+08:00

not even once i feel that you are a burden to me...

when you share with me all your problem i feel i'm sooo appreciated...

you sadness is mine..the happiness is ours...

i can call my self a good friend when i can help you...

this is the least that i could do for you...=(

but when you said you rather keep them within your self bcause you dont want to burden me...

well you hurt me a lot..

without realizing 'crystal clear water' is rolling down from my eyes...

i just dont like you to feel sad and you keep it on your own...

i'm willing to share everything with you...dont put me aside plz...=(

dont push me away...

you asked me to give you time..

ok i wont push you to share if you dont feel like to..

just remember i'll always be here whenever you need me...=(

language destruction...ouchhh!!!

2011-06-10T10:23:00.006+08:00

hello...how are you? are you fine?...i hope so...
are you busy?....i hope not....

(penyakit misterduncan 1 of the video i always show to my students)

ok our topic today is...of course language destruction...
i'm not an expertise in language..just want to share something...(share lg..pemurah betul la)

hp and fb just cannot be separated nowadays...they are the medium of conveying messages which is good..save time if you are about to inform vital info isn't it?

however there will always be problems which are created by....CIK TUAN N CIK PUAN HUMAN BEING....

ok now let's talk about language in general...kat Malaysia we use Bahasa Malaysia la kan..
wait a minute..are sure?..Are you using Bahasa Malaysia...
let's take a look at this post from fb ek...

"Aq law xskew kow aq dh lamew blasah..pew lgik blasah jew lew.."
"awk sy borink glerw..winduw law at awk"
"nak ua mkn la..nnt nk jmpa at ne?"
"godmonink!..at cnie pnas..at sne xpnas kew?"

ok here only some of them...
so let's ask the question once again...
Are you using Bahasa Malaysia...?

this is what we call language destruction...
bahasa malaysia hancur english lagi la boom kebabowww la kn..(ehhh dah pndai gna w w plk)
ok maybe there is no problem if you are using the language among your friends but if you text someone older...why cant you use more polite and proper language?

mak2 ayah2 pkcik2 mkcik2 ni tkulat2 la bca pa la budak ni anta..aku puas mngeja xphm2 jgk smpai tjuih2 bibir bawah tu nk bunyi kan 'w' haaa...xtemasuk yang meleleh ayaq liuq mngeja lagi...ishhhhh

is it because of style?..trend?..i just dont get it..can someone explain to me..
ok komen untuk yang xbrapa ok la english...(bukan tujuan mnghina)

english words di melayu kan..then ditukar ejaan..
then trbawak2 dlm exam...perghhh 2 kali cedera parah...
no one cause the mistake but you..you..you..you...

good - gud
morning- mownink/monink
boring- borink
night-nite
respect-saspek cnth- akuw/aq mmg saspek at die r..(cb tngok dlm kamus pa mksud suspect?)
dia ni spew? ni la membe/memba (loghat utara) aku

then in essay..me n my member go outing... member tu ahli cek oiii....
you can try this way..choose whether u want to talk in English or Bahasa Malaysia..
dont mix both language and at last become sooo caca merba mcm bubur caca....(acacaca cah acacaca cah cacaca cah sempat lgi menari caca)

see this is one of the factors why students nowadays cant compose good essay in English and dont forget to mention also in BAHASA MALAYSIA...

"ko b pe upsr? b bm..bi?..b jgk...abis ko kt umah ckp bahasa pe ni??? jawa??"

hahaha sometimes it sounds funny but that's the fact...

pa isu bahasa baru2 ni?
MEMARTABAT KAN BAHASA MALAYSIA MEMPERKUKUHKAN BAHASA INGGERIS..

martabat mcm mn kalo kita sniri bg rosak bahasa ye x?
kukuh bahasa inggeris mcm mn kalo kita suka ubah2 ejaan nye ye x?

aku pn xda la nk kata diri tu bagus sgt..kdg guna short form gak...tp xda la nk ubah2 ejaan..

so tepuk perut tanya hati...
komen la ikut suka hati jiwa raga kowang..hahahaha dh trikut...

man vs woman vs family in law

2011-06-09T09:48:00.008+08:00

well today nothing much i wanna share but still i wanna share heheheh..(pa ni ckp belit2)
man vs woman vs family in law...vice versa

"Makcik jangan risau...saya akan jaga anak makcik sebaik mungkin...dia la ratu/permaisuri/baby/ honey darling di hati saya..." (geli tekak hakkk tuiihhh)

"Makcik ada apa2 makcik cakap je..keluarga makcik xlama lagi akan jd keluarga saya jugak"

"Makcik akan jadi mak saya jd dah tanggungjawap saya untuk jaga makcik jugak" (dialog drama Melayuuu)..hmmm layu sungguh ku dengar...

ok..that is the situation before a man/woman is going to marry a woman/man...

then.....

this is how a marriage should be...happily ever after

rings that tie the knot for the rest of your life

"Ala saya malas la nk balik umah mak awak...mak awak tu kuat bebel tau...bingit telinga saya"

"Ala kalo saya balik pun bukan mak awak layan saya...kan ada menantu lain yg dia sayang mcm saya xtau dia bukan suka saya sgt..tima pun trpaksa sbb dah xde sapa nak kt awak" (fiuuuungggg ada pnggan terbang dari dapur hinggap kt dahi si laki)

"Kalo awak nak balik awak balik la sorg saya malas..nanti nak balik gtau saya g amik..kalo mak tanya cakap je saya ada hal ngn ketua UMNO bahagian pencawang letrik"

why is this happening??
why is the situation suddenly change??

once we marry a man/woman means we are marrying with the whole family..
it comes in a package.. unless u marry with an orphan la kan...
we can hear this kind of issue everywhere in this tiny world...

the problem is...ya it can't be denied that family in law is the factor...
but as the young generation still need to respect them no matter how their attitudes are... try the best to win their heart...

it's not easy i know but bak kata pepatah melayu
"kerak nasi rendam dalam air lama2 lembut la"

no people in this world will refuse to accept kindness...unless mmg jahat tahap setan la kan..

old folks always say this...
api kena lawan ngn air..
air kena lawan ngn tanah...
tanah kena lawan ngn???? korg pk la sniri hihihihi

so if the family in law act like taik so u should become the air freshner...
it's like positive vs negative..at last it will become neutral...

if this is your mother in law mmg kena sabar bnyk gilaaaa la kan..

jgn la plak jd mcm ni...

"ahhhh mak ingt mak baik sgt dah la masak pn xsedap!...saya masak lg sedap"

"Mat ko tngok bini ko kuang aja ngn mak..kalo mcm ni baik mak mati je Mat"

"haaa elok g la mati mak aman ckit saya xpayah masak utk mak!"

mampos la kalo 2 2 xnak ngalah kan...
i know it wont be as simple as it is said but patience and kindness are the secret ingredients..

at the same time pray to Allah (or others for other religion) to soften the hard part in the in law's heart...
it's not easy to get a happiness..you must sacrifice a lot..but once u get it..it's like the heaven is yours...=)

"laki ko tu mak tengok mcm kaki pmpuan..baik ko cek hp dia mana tau dia ada mnggatal ngn betina mana2 ke"

"bini ko tu pemalas..masak itu xreti ini xreti..lantai xkemas tah apa keje dia mngangkang depan tv"...(fuhh pedas gila ayat mengangkang tu)

ok this will happen if the family in law starts to hasut their son/daughter
even the menantu does all the house chores but still the family in law will twist the story...
so it's very important for you to stay patience and try to win their heart..

at the same time tell the real situation to your spouse so that your relationship wont be like retak menanti belah or telur di hujung tanduk..

ada lgi satu cara mmg bekesan rasa nya tp xtau la untuk jangka masa pnjang mcm mn...
everytime you go back to family in law's house give them money..presents..kain ke tudung saji ke tong gas ke sudip baru ke...RASUAHHHHH...hhihihihih

people like presents kn...so mana tau tiba2 saham depan mentua naik mndadak hihihih...
ok la dah penat cakap pasal ni..buat kan aku betambah2 takut nak ada bf..apatah lg nak ada husband kan...hihihihi

ok enjoy reading n komen kritik la as u like..free kan...chawww.....

dont let your family in law make u and your spouse become like this..try to find a win win solution..=)

the road not taken..

2011-06-08T10:15:00.003+08:00

the road not taken... i still remember the title of a stupid poem when i was in F4..(all poems r stupid i guess)

one of my best friends (sapa lg kalo bukan ZUEAZIZ) always use the term
'road not taken'..she even memorize the poem...perrghhhh dasat...
that's y the title stuck in my small little tiny cute brain...

ok the story is.. in my life i always face with this kind of situation..
the road not taken...

i believe not only me but everybody in the whole world would face with this 'road' hihihih.. what i know for sure is i am a person who believe in what my heart told me.. based on previous cases once

"tak sedap hati mesti kerja or tempat tu tak best.." like my job now..dri hari 1st xsedap dah tapi keja jgk...last2 smpai bgadoh ngn bos hihihihi dh nak brenti pun....

same with the UUM case in my previous blog...
my father's friend told me that i was short listed..(even after saying i dont want the job) tak paham aku dorg ni...

now my mother is soo eager to push me to accept it..
ok...now i'm in the road not taken..
which i dont want to go...

if i want to go mesti la nama dia road that taken kn...hihihihih

"gila bodo la ang tolak...ang ingt senang ka dpt?"

hahahah i dont mind people call me 'bodo'...
i strongly believe there is something else for me...

"weh ang la bodo..kalo ang pandai msti ang dh keja ctu..hahahaha"

hehehehe wish i can say that to whoever call me bodo...
every road has its own risk...so does the road not taken..
i'll bear the risk..dont worry...

with the knowledge that i have i believe i can survive... (tb2 jerit nyanyi I WILL SURVIVE) hihihihi pangggg kena lempang ngn jiran sbb bising!
oppss sory cik kengkang...

if really i need to go there i dont think i can stand for a long time...
the longest will be 3 months..may be...

"xpa p dlu xsesuai nanti brenti la"

ok i dont like to be nomad...malas la nk pindah2 tempat keja...
so if in the 1st place i dont feel like going then better dont..do u agree with me? hahahaha mesti la tak stuju kan....

now let just wait for the letter to come and wait for the final decision and drama of going to UUM...full stop....

I'M TAKING THE ROAD NOT TAKEN....

this is the poem...search for the meaning on your own..=)

ok now this is the situation...lawa plk tngok autumn woods ni

i am the one who choose to walk on the road with storm...(tolak gaji tnggi kira nk susah la kn)

2011-06-05T15:51:00.002+08:00

sometimes there are so many people around me..
laughing together..
~
~
~
but sometimes nobody's around me..
just feel so lonely...very lonely...
~
~
~

tuition centre vs pisang goreng!!!

2011-06-05T10:02:00.008+08:00

Ya I know it’s not easy to run a business.. In fact I know there are so many aspects should be considered before a business can really be carried out…

If I want to sell pisang goreng I need to do surveys..about the place, the possible customers, banana supplier and many more…

After confirming every single thing is satisfied only then I can sell my pisang goreng..

what I wanna stress here is..

I need money for the fuel in order to do survey..
I need money to buy all the appliances..
I need money to buy banana, flour, cooking oil, salt, plastic or paper bags..

EVERY SINGLE THING NEEDS MONEY!!!

Ok..tutup gerai pisang...now back to the real story…

Opening a tuition center u need students as the customers..

How to get them?

Through a good marketing isn’t it?

How to do marketing?

Go out and promote..

How to promote?

Using flyers..banners..previews..

OK GOOD…!! BUT ALL THOSE WAYS NEED MONEY…

“I WANT A MARKETING THAT DOESN’T NEED ME TO SPEND MONEY…”

Ya that is the situation now…I repeat

“I WANT MARKETING THAT DON’T NEED ME TO SPEND MONEY…”

Woiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! P jamban pn kna bayar 30sen..

The situation now is the boss is hoping the staff to go for marketing with their own money..with salary yang cukup2 utk beli kain kapan tu..WHAT THE HELL????

Seriously I never met with this kind of business man before…

If u don’t want to spend any money then don’t ever expect people to know and come to ur place.. am I right???

In every meeting he will force us to give ideas how to improve the business but when we give him ours he will totally reject all the ideas…and he will keep forcing us to give ideas again and again…

If you are in my situation how would you feel???

Stress right?? Ya so do i..

one of the staff has resigned because she couldn’t stand with the situation anymore..

THE BOSS ASKS US TO DO MARKETING WITHOUT CLAIMING ANY MONEY…

“Kita xboleh bekira bila bkerja”

Ok if u give me rm1800 I can understand xda la nk bkira sangat..

But now we r talking about rm700 monthly and still u ask us to jangan bekira..???!!!

Plz la wehh don’t talk rubbish..

ko sniri kalo duit dalam tangan ada 5inggit org mintak tlong bli pizza hut ko blh beli x????

blh x aku tnya????

Xboleh kan??? Unless u tido with toke pizza xpn cuci pnggan mop lantai kat pizza hut baru dorg bg pizza free kot…

Kalo g tampal banner minyak keta blh ganti ngan air xkesah la…

Kalo masa entertain clients bloleh bayar makan minum ngan air liur xpa la xkesah..

BUT EVERY THING NEEDS MONEY!!! Y CAN'T U UNDERSTAND??!!

tb2 tringat cita P.Ramlee..watak Haji Bakhil... Jgn2 datuk sedare pe dorg ni huhuh...

Ok I will only stay until end of this month then..BABAIIIII!!!!

Even mati pn need money…xdak duit org xtanam u wooooo….

TBA2 MAYAT BANGUN…

“KITA NAK TANAM ORG XBOLEH BKIRA"

Haaaa lari abis bslerak tinggal ko sorg2 buat marketing kt kubur huhuhuhuh….

Pa aku merepek ni…ok la babai…

agak nya macam ni la kotdia genggam duit takut nk kua blaja ek

Aktiviti sebelum tido...kira takut ada tikus bwk lari 1sen...

usung la duit tu..jgn kua 1 sen pn..bia tuition bankrupt pn xpe...grrrrrr

i'm just so gorgeous...

2011-05-31T10:58:00.011+08:00

ya ya ya i know your first impression reading the title will be...
wekkk prasan nye minah ni...!!!

so???...let it be..

let's look back at the past 5..hmm nope2 6-7 years...
i was so..so...i could call myself as..UNATTARCTIVE..UGLY..NO ONE NOTICE ME..KERANG DALAM LUMPUR

ya that was me...
i've been insulted..i still remember..

standing at the road side waited to cross the road.. with a "beautiful" friend...

"awat depa tngok cni ja ni?" (y r they looking at here)
"mesti la tngok aku xkan tngok hang(u) plak kn...

can u imagine how i felt at that moment.."happy gila"
i was nobody during my school time...slekeh gila..

ya org cantik mmg rasa cantik la kn smpai blh ckp org sebelah hudohhh...

after stepping into a new stage of my life i got a spirit didnt know from where..
i groomed..wore something pleasant..
then suddenly i was being noticed..
i got admirers..ya i felt appreciated and it's like a revenge to that "beautiful" friend..

she used to say "awat la xdak laki ngorat aku..asyik usha hang ja"
i just laugh inside...
tu la yang org pnggil DAULAT!!
once u insulted me u became uglier than me..!!

INGAT HANG LAWA SANGAT NK HINA2 ORG...

now no one can grab the confidence that i have now..
if u want to know i got this confidence not only by dressing up nicely...
it came from my heart...

everyday i say to myself..."ang boleh jd lawa kalo ati ang lawa"
so..first step..smile..be nice to people..humble..be friendly..
that's how people will look at u as a beautiful pretty gorgeous lady...

what i wear is not because i want to impress other people..
it's a therapy for me to be confident outstanding..ya as i'm a teacher so it's vital to attract students right?

by motivating other people i feel beautiful..
by advising other people i feel gorgeous...
by helping other people i feel pretty...
by being friendly i feel lovely...
by being humble i feel..CONFIDENT...

i wear 5ringgit-10ringgit shawls...(above mahal!)
i wear 12 ringgit-40ringgit clothes...(above mahal!)
i wear 20ringgit handbegs...(above tnggu manayk duit)
i wear bju kurung 3 100...(above sayang duit)
i wear 10-40ringgit shoes...(above tnggu jd datin)

as long as i know how to carry myself what i wear is doesn't matter at all...

in a nutshell..it's not only how u dress that make u beautiful.. by doing all those things mentioned above u'll find ur aura.. charisma..
which these two words are the magnet that attract and influence others to look at u..get to know u and feel that u r...

BEAUTIFUL..PRETTY..GORGEOUS..LOVELY..and SWEET....

so let's say out loud... I'M JUST SOOO GORGEOUS!!

this is how i look with no make up...kalam kabut amik adik

ya this one edited..fake hair but still the same me...

sincere smile makes me feel good..no lipstick no compact powder..only eyeliner..ya i'll look sick without the magic eyeliner heheh....

now it's up to you whether to say i'm prasan or not..;)

unidentified living thing...

2011-05-09T17:32:00.003+08:00

tenet tenet tenet tenet...(sound effect)

WHO AM I?

tenet tenet tenet tenet

CONFIUS (wrong spelling to show i'm really confused)

NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT ME...

DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT

ENVY OF PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY WANT...SUCCEED IN LIFE..

tenet tenet tenet tenet

OK GOOD BYE EARTH.....

2011-05-08T15:40:00.004+08:00

i couldn't express what i want...

my creativity my ideas...

the longer i stay here the more i'll become rude...

it's just because of a person who can't accept changes..

who can't accept other people's ideas..who always look for our mistakes...

who always wants to win even though obviously he is kantoi...

we really want to help that person expanding his business...

but he just don't let us in..

reject all ideas..no compromise..makes us feel unappreciated..

so from day to day i become rebellious...

i only do my work and don't want to contribute any idea as i know he will reject it...for sure...

so don't merungut..."y is this business still like this even after 7 years"

hahaha..just laugh at ur self...how can maju if u don't want to accept new things...

one more thing...NI BUAT BISNES XLEH KEDEKUT...but u r kedekut...

so how can u succeed?...adoi hai....

now all of us just wait for another job opportunity...dapat je cabut..

can't stay here any longer...ok now it's up to u to make it maju....

well u r more expert aren't u?...

honesty eat u back!!!

2011-04-28T15:17:00.005+08:00

the story started...

i've been forced to go for interview in UUM..

i refused soo badly..but what could i do..i'm just a daughter not a monster that could make my parents afraid of me kan...

while waiting..

all candidates busy preparing themselves...asking for each other experiences..

well i sat far from them..i refused to talk to anybody...just smile...(protes kt parents sbnarnya)

i was the last candidate..other candidates entered the room with 5 persons for each round..

but me?..they only interviewed me alone..k i sat in front of 5 professors...

here was the interview session..

(I-inteviewer)

I: ok welcome to this interview..u look confident.

me: (fake smile)

I: ok tell us about urself..

me: bla..bla..bla...ok that's all..

I:ok interesting..ok so..hmm y uum?

me: y uum?..actually because...(then something told me in the heart..yenny! do it!!)

can i say something out from this interview?

I: yes please..i'm surprised actually...

me: actually im not willing to work here..i was forced by my parents...

i came here just to satisfy them..i know where my level is..

i dont think i'm fit with this position and this great institution..

as all of u can see my english is not that good to work here..im really afraid if i bring uum's name down...so if u r about to choose me please dont..

i believe other candidates are more capable than i am..

i will be so glad if u reject me...

I: (shocking face)..i know what is ur problem..u dont feel confident with ur ability..

this is the first time a candidate dare to make that kind of confession...

u know there are hundreds of candidates begging for this job by giving fake n hypocrite answer but u are the first to give a very honest answer...

we really like u..we hope u will accept this job...

i'll give u an offer letter later that the decision is in ur hands...

but we hope u think deeply...dont worry about ur english..

for me it is acceptable as a tutor..but of course u must work on it...

i really hope to see u later...

me: (smile sourly) errrr im afraid to accept that letter...

I: it's ok u think first..hmmm actually i think u have identity problem..u dont know where u should be and what u can do..

me: huhuhuhu i think so...

I: ok now go back refresh ur mind..thanks for coming..we really glad to meet u..i hope u'll take this challenge...

me: huhuhu ok..thank u and sorry for wasting ur time...

spoiled!!! what i've planned was gone huhuhuh....how come....honesty 'eat' me back huhuhuhu....i myself dont know from where i got the courage to express everything...

till now i dont know what is the best for me...

my parents waited for me excitedly asking what happened just now..ya i told them everything and they were also shocked..but after that....they brainwash me kaw2 pnya...

ya i just kept silent...what to do..benda dh jadi...

u can call me xda hala tuju..xda masa depan...xda cita2...

ya i admit...i also dont like my situation now...i just hope i'll do the right decision.....:(

choose...chose..chosen..CHOICE....

2011-04-21T13:20:00.007+08:00

once again i meet this buddy..mr/mrs CHOICE..
it's not the first one...too many times already..

when i meet 'this person' it'll greet me with 2 words..
GOOD@BAD
SATISFACTION@REGRET

it indicates the choice that will be made can be either one as above..
all of us would totally love to meet with mr. GOOD and SATISFACTION..

but it's not easy to meet them...
a lot of appointment need to be made....
i'm in that process now... choosing which is the best for me...

but this time it's quite a tough decision..
the options are only 2... ACCEPT@DECLINE, STAY@GO

in my mind now i prefer DECLINE and STAY...
but everybody around me ask me to ACCEPT and GO...

if i follow them i won't be happy..
if i follow my heart they won't be happy..
now how to get a win-win solution...

for me enjoyment come before salary..
of course salary is important as nowadays everything needs money..so do i.. but how can i enjoy my work if my heart is not there...

i believe if i decline this 1 there will be another better opportunity for me..
i just need to be patient..but they couldn't understand what i'm trying to say..

they keep on pushing forcing me to accept that chance...
ya i know life is about making choices (according to Prof. J)
i try to make a choice here but...hmmm...(hi mr.Jerawat now u come--to show that i'm stress)

u can call me stupid silly foolish for declining that chance..
sorry i'm not that ambitious..i believe in enjoyment in doing work and i'll get salary that fits with my effort...but for them..SALARY..POSITION come first...

ohhh Allah help me in doing the right decision....(*_*)

I hate books but this one looks interesting..(only the colour n cover hehehe)

Nsync - Tearin' Up My Heart

2011-04-20T10:28:00.000+08:00